#and for SOME reason we have zero photos

[valyrfia]

do you all remember the gala in monaco 2024 where charles and max were blurry photographed leaving together in suits and we got anecdotes that they were hanging out together the entire night and joking around…yeah what WAS that and why do we only have like one paparazzi picture to remember it by…

[babydoll372]

Pleasure

Pairings: older!natasha romanoff x younger!reader (nat is around her late thirties, early forties, r is early 20’s)

Word count: 2223

Warnings: age gap relationship, r is honestly cringe blame that on me alone, sexual insecurities, age gap insecurities, oral (r receiving), r is a virgin, mentions of scissoring, inexperienced!r

Natasha sighed in relief as she closed her laptop, clocking out of her shift and rushing to leave the office before her boss could dive into a long conversation with her. She got into her car and waited for it to warm up, shivering a bit at first and grabbing her phone to call you. She smiled as she saw your face appear on the screen as she started pulling out of the parking lot.

“Hello, my beautiful girl..how was your day?” She glanced over and saw you shrug a bit as you stirred a spoon, she was guessing you were cooking her dinner for when she’d be home.

“Y/N? Is everything okay?” She asked with more worry this time, and you couldn’t help but bite your lip as you stared upon her beautiful, chiseled jawline.

“I’m okay..uhm, how was work?”

“Eh, it was the same as usual. How was your doctor's appointment today? Everything go okay?” Today you had to see your primary care physician for a regular checkup, but it ended up going in a different direction. You nervously released the fact that you were not sexually active, even though you showed your doctor photos of you and Natasha earlier in the appointment. She didn’t question obviously, knowing many different reasons could be of cause, and wrote down what you told her. However, when you explained some worries to her was when she brought it up.

“So you can’t reach an orgasm with masturbation, why not try with your partner? I don’t know if you are waiting until marriage or what not-“

“Oh, no, no, definitely not planning to wait until marriage..I’m just, you know, a bit scared. It’ll obviously, uh..be the first so I’m just worried I’ll embarrass her and myself by feeling absolutely nothing.” The woman chuckled and placed a hand on your knee, patting it gently.

“I personally, and professionally, don’t think you have anything to be afraid of. It will be hard at first to adjust to, it’s definitely uncomfortable having another person see you so intimately and insight different physical reactions, but actually making love is so much different than masturbating, my dear. And I know it’s uncomfortable to hear or talk about, but you don’t need to fear it. I am sure that when the time comes you will be quite pleased, and so will your partner, and if not then I can refer you to a gynecologist and we can go from there, alright?” You nodded at her reassuring words, fiddling with your hands to ease your nerves as now the idea was imprinted into your mind for the rest of the physical. Maybe you really were just inexperienced and couldn’t bring yourself to experience an orgasm, but maybe she would? She had been with multiple women in her years, you zero, considering your age gap, but what if she didn’t enjoy it with you?

“It was fine..uhm, I- I was hoping to talk to you when you’re home about something.” You said, blurting it out before you would forcefully hold it in any longer. It had already felt like years keeping it in for ten hours.

“You don’t want to talk now? Is it serious?”

“I would just prefer talking at home, is that okay?” Once again, Natasha glanced at the camera with worry, trying to read your face in a quick few seconds before looking back at the road.

“Of course it’s okay..I’ll see you at home then?” Usually the call on her way home lasted the entire ride, but you both could feel the heavy tension and knew it needed to end there. You said your goodbyes and about fifteen minutes later, she came home and you greeted her at the door with a kiss. You walked her into the dining room where you had dim lighting and a candle lit on the table. The table was always up against the window looking out to the city, and now it looked even more romantic since it was dark out, and the only lights illuminating the sky were from the homes of other people living their own lives. Along with the candle were two plates of steak and potatoes, making Natasha’s eyebrows raise. Steaks weren’t something you two could afford often, clearly this was an important night.

“Wow, this must be something really important you need to discuss, huh?” She joked, sitting down across from you as you didn’t even laugh. You just bit your lip anxiously as you started to cut your own steak. Usually, Nat would cut your food for you, whether it was meat, pancakes, desserts, or anything else, she’d be the one doing it for you while you happily awaited.

“You sure you don’t want me to cut that for you, baby?”

“I’m okay, I’m not a baby, y’know.” You chuckled, only making her tick her head to the side in worry again.

“I know you’re not a baby, I just like doing things for you. I’m sorry if it came off that way..are you sure you’re okay?” She tried to calmly speak, not wanting to cause an argument of any kind but also getting a bit frustrated at your inability to communicate your problem with her.

“I-…I just don’t want you to think of me as some child, I’m a grown woman and I don’t need anybody to do things for me. And just because you’re older or have slept with loads of women doesn’t mean I’m some incompetent- thing!”

“Woah, woah, woah, what is going on? Why are you treating me like I’m some whore who’s slept with hundreds of women? And why are you suddenly so worried about this?”

“Because I want to have sex with you! And I- I want to be comparable to the, I don’t know, supermodels you’ve been with! And I don’t want you to think you can’t make a move just because I’m younger or because you cut my steak for me..” Natasha covered her lips to hide a chuckle at your obviously wrong guessing, and quickly put on a face of care when you were looking.

“Y/N, that is completely inaccurate! First off, the very few women I’ve slept with were nowhere near supermodels. Second off, you have no idea how badly I want to have sex with you! I have been holding back since we got together because I respect you, not because I don’t find you desirable or hot, it’s just because I’m not going to push you into anything. I do not think you are too young for me to have sex with…and I wish you would’ve come to me sooner about this, sweetheart..” She said as she kissed the back of your hands, smiling at you as you slowly cracked a grin, realizing how foolish you sounded.

“I’m sorry- gosh I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to be so rude, I don’t think you’re a whore at all! I think you’re awesome and the best girlfriend I could ever ask for..who I really hope will still accept my offer to have sex with me for the first time..tonight?” Natasha smiled wide, staring into your eyes as if they were never ending. She nodded as she verbally agreed, and you blew out a breath. You slowly pulled your hands back from her and went to finish your steak so that you two could start soon, however, Nat had different plans. She stood up abruptly and went to your side of the table, turning your chair around to face her and effortlessly lifting you so your legs wrapped around her waist, and her hands were placed on your butt as she teasingly squeezed it. She kissed you repeatedly along the way, having to stop back at the table after your insisting of blowing out the candle, and once you did, she just went for your neck. Any open area of skin she was following with her lips, sometimes leaving small purple marks in its wake. Once she got to the bedroom, she comfortably laid you on the bed and stared down at you, grinning from ear to ear.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, you know that?” You bit your lip as your cheeks tinted a deep shade of red, and she couldn’t tear her eyes away. “I am the luckiest woman on this very planet, my love..and I am never letting you go. I am going to make love to you today and every single day after that you let me, because I cannot get enough of you, my beloved..” She leaned down to kiss you passionately before her hands trailed down to your hips, teasing your waistband. She trailed her lips to your chest until you nodded, allowing her to remove your shirt. She grinned, teasing her tongue around the soft, supple plush that was your skin, and sucking softly on your nipples, one and then the other. Your fingers found her hair as your raked through it, humming softly. You felt an ounce of panic rise when you thought back to what you told your physician and how you truly had never felt much pleasure, and you were worried this would be the same. You felt a limited amount of lust from her actions, but you felt loving pleasure.

“Nat..?”

“Hm?” She kept her lips wrapped around her desired object, looking up at you from your chest.

“Do you think you could try, like..rubbing me a bit? Or something like that..please and thank you.” She slowly pulled away from your chest, planning to go back as she grabbed a hair tie from the bedside table and put her long red hair in a bun. She used two fingers to gently caress your clit through your shorts, her free hand on your thigh rubbing soft circles.

“Tell me how that feels, sweetheart. Do you want me to move your shorts aside?”

“May you please? I- it feels close to good but not quite there..“ She nodded, understanding the difficulty you might have for your first time and she pulled the shorts over a bit to reveal your well tailored cunt. You fiddled with your fingers as you watched her face for her reaction.

“You look gorgeous, my love. But you don’t ever need to change a thing for me, okay?” You nodded, biting your lip as you felt her wet fingers draw circles over your clit. She focused on how much pleasure she was bringing you, her free hand moving to your breasts as she fondled them softly, tweaking your nipples playfully. After the same movements and eventually a slightly quicker pace, she wanted to go further.

“Is it alright if I use my mouth now?” She could see your hesitancy and how your legs instinctively closed an inch at the thought of her so close. “It’s alright if you don’t want me to, I just want to make you feel good, this is about you tonight.”

“You-..you can use your mouth, yeah..” She didn’t waste much time and put her hands on your thighs to hold them in place, bringing her tongue to your clit as she followed similar patterns from her fingers. She hummed at the taste of you, making you moan quietly as you gripped onto her hair. You could feel your legs shaking a little bit as you tightened them around her, and she only quickened the pace of her tongue. She rode off of your whimpers, both the quiet and loud, and she watched as your upper body heaved up and down the quicker she went. Her jaw started to ache, but she wasn’t finding it in her to care as she drowned out the pain and focused on your confused pleasure. It didn’t come in a matter of seconds, nor only a few minutes, but she continued until she heard the words she had been desperate to hear.

“Nat-! I- fuck, I think I’m gonna-“ She pulled away for mere milliseconds to respond, not wanting to waste a single moment away from your delicious juices.

“Cum for me- do it for me, baby!” She moaned loudly into your desperate heat as your legs shook even quicker and tightened even further, your body unraveling as you let yourself slip. Your eyes shot wide open as you stared at the ceiling, your orgasmic state washing over you intensely as you clung tightly to the back of your older girlfriends head while you muttered ‘fuck’ over and over under your breath.

She eased you out of your high by delivering slow licks to the sensitive bud until you were whining for her to stop. She slowly got up and removed her underwear before settling in front of you.

“Take all the time you need, there’s no rush..but once you’re ready, I want to teach you something.” She took your hands in her own, kissing them softly as you looked up at her, still in a completely disheveled state.

“What do you want to try?”

“You might’ve heard of it before, it’s called scissoring.” She grinned at the thought alone and ran her hands up and down your thighs, humming at the feeling of your soft skin as she could only imagine what it’d feel like rubbing against hers.

[xomakara]

Hey, Cowboy

SUMMARY |  Mingyu's lap looks very inviting.

PAIRINGS |  Mingyu (SVT) x Reader

RATING |  Mature, NSFW, EXPLICIT, MDNI, 18+, Any Minors and Ageless Blogs will be blocked 

GENRE |  smut, pwp, established relationship

CONTENT/WARNINGS |  profanity, alcoholic consumption, grinding, unprotective sex, fingering, breast fondling, creampies, dirty talk, kissing, sucking, hair gripping/pulling, praising, oral sex (m.receiving), praising, multiple orgasms, deep dicking, size kink, riding/cowgirl, reader is turned on because of mingyu's stetson hat

LENGTH |  4,097 words 

TAGLIST |  –

NETWORKS |  @k-vanity @ksmutsociety @keopihaus @cosyhomenet @winerys-collection

AUTHOR’S NOTE | Because we all love Cowboy!Gyu~

Seventeen Masterlist

"Hey, Cowboy."

Mingyu looks up from his phone to catch your eyes. Sitting on the couch with a Stetson hat perched atop his head, he looks positively comical and you can't help but laugh at the picture.

Mingyu shakes his head playfully. "I'm your boyfriend. The least I can do is pull these hats from storage for your enjoyment."

"I knew I kept you around for a reason," you quip back. In all honesty, you never were much of a fan of Mingyu's endless stash of props... 

Until today that was.

As much as you hate to admit it, the way he’s sitting on the couch, legs spread open invitingly, and with his mouth tipped upwards ever so slightly made him look every bit like the epitome of sex. You just hoped Mingyu hadn't caught onto your blatant ogling and thankfully, your prayers were heard and you quickly realize that Mingyu had absolutely zero clue about what was going on in your head.

Mingyu simply rambles on, asking where the rest of his friends were and whether or not he'd be allowed to post the pictures without their consent, as if his hat and lap wasn't doing things to you.

Oh, the things he was doing to you.

When Soonyoung invited you and Mingyu to the SVT frat costume party that he randomly decided to throw, you didn't really know what you had signed up for. In all honesty, you agreed because your friend insisted and who were you to deny one of his random party ideas anyway? You and Mingyu decided to go as cowboys, since you had this cute, little skirt that would go well with some boots and he had a Stetson hat lying around.

However, as soon as you and your boyfriend arrived, Soonyoung and Seokmin had immediately dragged the two of you aside and doused you with alcohol.

Mingyu doesn't know a single thing of the thoughts racing in your head, because instead, his focus is directed onto his phone once again. It's really nothing out of the ordinary, until he hooks a finger in between the button of his shirt and tug ever so slightly that causes his shirt to be unbuttoned, exposing some of the lean muscle hidden there. Your eyes linger for a bit too long on his chest before he finally notices and looks back at you curiously. "Are you okay?" He asks and you cough out awkwardly.

"Um... yeah," you mutter quietly.

"Good, good... then I'll take more photos!" Mingyu says excitedly. He grabs your arm, pulls you down into his lap in one fell swoop while snapping multiple pictures at the same time, and before you even have a chance to question him, he's already scrolling through the photos and posting them onto his social media page.

Once he's posted a sufficient amount of pictures, Mingyu finally puts his phone down and gazes up at you with bright eyes, nearly causing your heart to skip a beat. "I'm so glad we took these photos. My baby looks hot as a cowgirl."

His arms encircled your body, pressing you further onto him, and he drops a quick, chaste kiss on your cheek.

You lick your lips as the friction makes your heart pound wildly. "Y'know Mingyu..." you whisper. "You're quite the sex icon with this cowboy thing..." And maybe it's because you've downed several cups of Soonyoung's cheap, vodka laced punch, but there's nothing stopping you from saying the most idiotic thing in your life, "Can I suck your dick?"

You watch your boyfriend's expression go from innocent to utter shock. For a moment, you actually think you see his ears tinge red, but you blink once again and the color is gone. "E-excuse me? Did I hear you right?"

"...yes?"

Mingyu sputters out in surprise, fumbling with his words and you can practically see his mind ticking as the gears turn, desperately attempting to process the information. "...what?" He finally manages to whisper in a quiet voice, not quite meeting your eyes and you shrug helplessly as you knelt on the floor and between his spread legs.

"Please, Mingyu? You just look so good in that hat and..." you trail off as you glance back up at your tall boyfriend, this time completely noticing the way his cheeks tint red in the dim lighting. "Your lap just looks so inviting." You pout as your fingers dance along the edge of his jeans, enjoying the way his lips curl and hips buck ever so slightly in an involuntary reaction.

"You're just joking. Right?"

"...no." You feel his eyes follow the movement of your finger that lightly strokes the inside of his thigh and you chuckle to yourself at the sharp hiss he lets out when you caress his crotch. 

"Come on, babe," he attempts one last time, still unable to look directly into your eyes. "Don't do this to me." Mingyu had no doubt noticed the bulge in his pants growing.

"Pleaseee?" You trail off as you eye his crotch, silently admiring the way Mingyu's bulge is prominent, leaving no room for imagination. "I know you've been looking at my ass this entire night," you smirk as your eyes lock with his.

Mingyu groans audibly as his teeth sink into his bottom lip in a valiant attempt at stopping his desire from leaking out. "Fine. Okay... let's do it." You can tell how desperately his cock must ache inside his pants, evident by the way he palms the outside of his thigh. "But if we're doing this... let's get somewhere a little more private."

After several moments of frantically looking, the two of you finally end up tucked in a secluded room that looked like an office. Luckily the music blasting in the frat house was so loud, that no one could even bother to be quiet and the entire hallway is flooded with the sounds of moans and sex. No one will dare to bother you in a place like this.

"Okay, you bad little cowgirl," Mingyu teases as he takes a seat on the leather couch, leaning back so his head is resting against the top. "I'm all yours to do whatever you want." You can only stare in awe as his fingers curl around the band of his jeans. "Anyways, it's time for you to claim your prize."

You slide your way to your knees, keeping your eyes locked onto Mingyu the entire time and only finally breaking off when you face his lower region. Mingyu is quick to undo his belt and quickly unzip his jeans and for the first time, you realize he'd gone commando tonight, causing a sudden spike in arousal as Mingyu's length bounces free of its constraints and smacks against the skin of his lower stomach.

You love how big your boyfriend is in every possible way, and it should really come as no surprise, considering his height and large frame. But, Mingyu's size never ceases to surprise you no matter how many times he's made love to you, whether that be from his long slender fingers to his tongue and his cock. You moan to yourself quietly as you wrap a fist around his cock and watch the foreskin glide back and expose his tip. You trace a finger along his head, enjoying the way the precum starts to trickle out the tip of his cock before you lift a hand up and suck in one of the fingers coated with precum, earning a sharp hiss from Mingyu.

His voice is strangled when he manages to choke out your name, the action catching him by surprise. "Naughty, naughty." Mingyu remarks softly. "You just love seeing me hard, don't you?"

"Hm... maybe, yes," you murmur, watching the way your hand easily moves up and down Mingyu's length before he inhales sharply, bucking his hips wildly, unable to help himself from fucking your hand. "Maybe I'll just bring you off with my hands alone tonight. That'd be quite a show."

"Fuck..." Mingyu mutters out through a clenched jaw when he watches the way you stroke the base of his cock lazily. "No more teasing. Just put your mouth to good use."

With one, final squeeze, you press the tip of Mingyu's thick cock past your lips and you instantly hear him groan above you. Mingyu's dick tastes bittersweet and is hot on your tongue and you love the taste. With a new surge of arousal pulsating through you, you're determined to take him as far as you can, forcing yourself past the initial gag reflex. Your nails dig harshly into his upper thighs, leaving light crescent marks with your touch, but you figure it'll just add to his enjoyment, judging by the way his head tilts upwards as another low moan falls from his mouth.

Your name escapes Mingyu's lips with such breathlessness that has your lower regions tingling pleasantly.

But you're not completely happy, seeing as to how he's not touching you the slightest. A whine slips from your throat as you grip Mingyu's thigh a bit too harsh, causing him to cry out in a mix of pleasure and pain and glance back down towards you, blinking in surprise. "Shit, Gyu," you mumble around his cock. Your hand is still palming his erection and the tip glistens under the lamplight with your spit.

His eyes narrow to meet yours in confusion. "What's wrong?" He questions, voice dripping with lust. "Isn't this what you want?"

It doesn't matter how drunk or sober you are, his dick feels fucking great in the hot confinement of your mouth and honestly? You can't get enough of the taste of him. The sensation of Mingyu's dick is almost better than any drug. "Nothing's wrong, except the fact you're not touching me Gyu," you complain quietly. "At least hold my hair or something. Let me know how well I'm doing."

A sinful smile teases on Mingyu's face. "Needy." Is the only warning you get before you feel fingers curl around your hair tightly, tilting your chin and pushing you farther down on his thick length. Instinctively, you roll your eyes back as his heavy cock hits the back of your throat, sliding into place without so much of a single choking. "Is this better for you?"

You can't answer, not like this with his cock filling up every bit of your mouth, so you can only respond to him by wrapping your tongue against him, bringing your hand back to grip and fondle with his balls. Mingyu curses and tosses his head back to rest on the edge of the couch, hips rolling slightly with each drag of his shaft along the warm and velvety texture of your mouth.

"Good girl," he grits through his teeth as a shot of hot pleasure rolls throughout his body, settling just below his abdomen. There's not much thought behind his words as they tumble past his tongue in the form of praise. Mingyu's vision nearly goes hazy when you begin to hum lightly around the base of his dick. The vibrations send him near the edge.

The pressure becomes too much for Mingyu to take. His hand that had been resting in your hair so lightly tightens its grip. You try not to let the small squeaks leave your mouth, knowing they'll go unnoticed but with his fingers clenched into a fist around the back of your head and forcing your lips so close to the base of his thick cock, tears of over-stimulation start to spring from your eyes as he begins to fuck your mouth. "Fuck! Shit, coming!" Mingyu barely chokes out in a rough and guttural voice, not that you could've heard him. Instead you're treated to a low, guttural groan as he arches his back from the couch, completely at the mercy of Mingyu's hold.

Your taste buds are overwhelmed with Mingyu's. He's salty and bitter and sweet and warm and so fucking delicious on your tongue. You swallow everything, desperate not to allow even a drop of the precious and addicting taste to leak from your mouth.

After you've cleaned Mingyu's spent cock with your tongue and licked every droplet of cum from his cock, you got up and shimmy your way onto Mingyu's lap once again, not minding the softening dick beneath your core. 

Mingyu blinks in surprise at you. "What are you planning now?"

"Trying to save a horse by riding a cowboy," you answered teasingly while pressing a wet, hot kiss against his lips. "Help a girl out, won't you cowboy? Show me what you're really made of."

Mingyu takes his bottom lip between his teeth, dark brown eyes reflecting the moonlight from the window, and there's something in his gaze that you can't help but find hypnotizing. He grins slyly at you, "The real question is, how quiet are you going to be for me?"

"Who said that I'll be quiet?" You quip with a laugh, causing Mingyu to throw you an incredulous look.

"The rest of our friends are downstairs and here we are, trying to keep quiet," he whispers into your ear, leaving you weak at his voice. His warm breath fans against your neck and a sudden tremor shakes through your core. Mingyu places a swift bite and lick to the side of your neck, no doubt creating a bruise that's visible for the rest of the world to see. His lips quirk upwards. "Just hope you won't be too loud, my little cowgirl. Otherwise everyone will know just how much you were begging to take my cock."

"Maybe I want them to hear," you grind against his cock and whimper at the lack of stimulation on your needy and soaked core. "Maybe I want them to know how much your dick fills my needy little pussy."

"Baby," Mingyu growls quietly with another harsh tug at your hair. His cock is slowly growing hard underneath the thin fabric of your skirt. "Keep talking like that and see where it'll get you."

You can't find a response. Instead all you can muster is a gasp when you feel Mingyu insert his fingers past the soaked fabric. It isn't enough. "Mingyu..." Your breathing grows ragged when you feel Mingyu's thumb swirl in circles on the inside of your slit and at the same time his fingers that are covered by your juices plunge in and out in a torturous rhythm.

"Well someone's wet," you hear Mingyu comment smugly as he retracts his digits from your folds to the open air. He chuckles at your silent protest, observing the string of glistening liquid connect from his fingers and to your crotch before grinning at you. "Look at how wet you are just from me fucking your mouth. You want a real taste? Cum on my fingers and we'll go from there, baby. Show me just how wet you can be and then, only then will you get what you want."

Mingyu plunges his long and thick digits into your dripping cunt and you cry out. "G-Gyu…" you whisper out as a surge of pleasure runs through you. Your wetness completely drenched Mingyu's hands, covering it in the scent and the warm texture of your arousal, as his fingers work relentlessly.

"Look at me," Mingyu commands sharply in your ear and you snap to attention instantly. Your half-lidded eyes meet Mingyu's burning gaze and the sly smirk on his face leaves you a panting mess as your cunt clamps onto his hand. "Fuck what the rest think," you hear Mingyu grunt and his free hand is pulling you close, with his nose pressed just below your ear, warm breath tickling the shell of your ear as he whispers. "Show everyone how badly you want me to fill you."

The burning heat that was pooling in your belly grows into a raging forest fire. Every bit of you is coated with the flames. Mingyu fucks you with the fingers, mercilessly curling and plunging at the exact right spot to make you squirm as his thumb continues to tease and draw circles around the little bundle of nerves. "Close. I-I'm coming, Mingyu."

His lips twist into a handsome smile, sending a surge of confidence. Mingyu ducks his head to hover dangerously close over your bare chest and after giving your breast a quick squeeze, bites harshly, causing a surge of pleasure-pain to tear through you. Your juices flow copiously and a whimper of pleasure escapes from you before you can stop it. Your muscles clench tight, your toes curl into the soft leather sofa and your head falls back against Mingyu's shoulder in ecstasy. Mingyu continues to piston his fingers within your velvety heat until he draws every ounce of the orgasm out of your trembling body.

Mingyu pulls his sticky digits from your now throbbing pussy, and brings the cum-covered fingers to his own lips. "You taste so good, babe," he whispers before looking back to you and bringing his fingers to your lips. "Open up." Obediently, your lips part for the fingers to slip past. Mingyu's long fingers dance within the warmth of your mouth, groaning at the warmth enveloping his fingers. "Good girl."

You want more. Even after being rewarded by the most earth-shattering and satisfying orgasm, your greedy core aches to be filled again. 

By him.

Lifting your hips and moving your panties to the side, you guide Mingyu's hard length into you without a single second thought. When you're fully seated, you finally release a content breath and slump into Mingyu's wide chest. "Fuck Gyu, you're so big," you manage to huff out in a high-pitched tone, breathing in the musky scent of him. "God, I needed this."

"How are you feeling?" Mingyu's palms glide gently down the smooth skin of your thighs.

You kiss him with fervor, cupping the back of his neck to pull him further towards you. "Just wonderful," you mumble against him before pulling away with a soft smile and then sink down on the firm length, savoring every inch of him. Mingyu is very large and girthy, and fills you nicely, with just the right amount of stretch. "Let's find out just how well your little cowgirl can ride you, cowboy."

"Be my guest," Mingyu licks his lips and sinks further down the sofa, eyes darkening. "Have a nice ride."

You begin a gentle pace, moving up and down his hard length and delighting at the sight. Mingyu's grip on your hips are so hard that you're almost sure that it'll be imprinted on your skin in the form of hand prints for days after. "Shit, Mingyu. You always feel so good." You whimper, rocking your hips at a rapid pace and enjoy the way Mingyu's thick cock drags in and out of you. "Fuck."

You curse, but Mingyu's attention is on the way you arch your back into him. He bites harshly on one pert nipple while his fingers massage the other, sending a current of electricity throughout your body. His deft hands trail up your body to cup your breasts and you shiver when his thumbs flit over the tingling peaks of your nipples, your pace never faltering even for a second.

He continues to play with the aching and sensitive peaks of your nipples, switching from harsh flicks to gentle strokes. All of these actions cause you to move faster. Without even a moment's hesitation, you latch your mouth onto his and tug the hat that still lays perched atop Mingyu's head over to your own and laugh.

The room is filled with the lewd sounds of flesh hitting flesh and Mingyu groans underneath your ministrations. You've finally gotten a proper rhythm and pace going and with a tilt of your hips, you're seeing stars every time his cock strikes you at the perfect spot within you. "Do I look good in your hat, Mingyu?"

"I get why wearing the hat is a turn on," Mingyu rasps out as you continue to rock your hips and tighten yourself against his shaft.

"If you lose the hat, I'm not fucking you," you threaten teasingly and giggle, to which he rolls his eyes fondly, settling against the cushion and contentedly gazing up at your flushed, sweaty face with his cock deep inside you.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Mingyu begins to grunt, hips jumping slightly. "Wouldn't dream of losing that hat," he swears with a nod.

"Promise?" You hum, brows raised innocently, not quite expecting Mingyu to reach up and press your hands in his hair, eyes gleaming dangerously. 

"Now why would I want to lose the hat, if all it takes is getting to fuck you like this?" Mingyu questions, the corners of his lips tilting into a smile before snapping his hips upwards.

"Shiiiit, I like where this is going." The last syllable escapes you as a long moan.

Mingyu laughs against your mouth. He winds the loose strands around his fingers and lightly pulls them out of your eyes to look at you properly. "Then do a good job, sweetheart. Keep riding."

You catch his lips in a desperate kiss, nipping at his lower lip with your teeth, as you rock down, pressing his length impossibly deeper inside you and grinding your clit down against the soft, tuft of hair that lay nestled above Mingyu's length, groaning at the friction, then slowly rise up again. The slow movement allows you to feel his full length and girth filling you to the brim.

Mingyu hisses. "Oh fuck... not going to last," he moans as his hips stutter against you.

"Me too," you whisper, rocking at a steady pace, fully enjoying the feeling of his hot dick as it stretches and hits the deepest parts inside you. The heat and pressure feels far too amazing, as a second orgasm creeps along your belly. "Going to... cum, again." You manage to stutter out, overwhelmed at how each thrust is jarring you so much to the point the sofa creaks lightly under you.

"That's my girl," Mingyu grits his teeth at your words, eyes rolling to the back of his head before fixing you with an intense glare. He's on the brink. There's absolutely nothing hotter than watching your pretty mouth form his name as you come undone in his lap. "Come on, do it. Cum for me."

"Cum in me, Mingyu," you beg as you dig your nails in his shoulders. "Let's cum together."

A roar rips through his lungs and with a shudder, Mingyu's release paints your inner walls and the stimulation is more than enough for you to also cry out as a second climax washes over you, his hot cum spurts into you and leaks past to his balls.

"Fuck..." Mingyu grunts with a groan as he tries to even out his breathing. "Goddamn that was really, really great." His length is softening, and he is coated in a light sheen of sweat.

You settle on top of him, sighing in pure happiness as he twitches and pulses within your overly-sensitive cunt. He rubs your hips gently, fingers squeezing in silent reassurance. "It was so, so, so good," you mumble back. You press a chaste kiss on his cheek with a smile and slide off of Mingyu, still whimpering slightly and reveling in the feeling of your cunt clenching around nothing and feeling empty. "I'm never letting you lose that hat."

His mouth turns upwards into an exhausted but affectionate smile and he rests his hat once more on your hair and begins to redress himself before glancing over at you, shaking his head in amusement. "Ready to head back?" He questions, to which you nod silently, allowing him to button up his shirt once again. "Round two back home?"

You smile devilishly and peck your boyfriend on the lips before stepping up to walk straight to the exit. "Round two begins the moment we enter the apartment," you laugh lightly as Mingyu saunters over and links his fingers with yours.

The music in the house is muffled from upstairs but a constant steady thumping of a drum set to a base. "Sure. You're not getting any sleep tonight, baby."

"Well, it's a good thing I can ride you like a horse all night long, cowboy." You place his cowboy hat on his head, giggle and pat him on the cheek and are practically dragging Mingyu towards the door with a happy smile. "Time to let a woman prove that she can save a horse and ride a cowboy!"

© xomakara All works on this blog are protected under copyright. I do NOT allow any of my works to be entered into any form of AI.

[p0orbaby]

Like can we pls pls pls pls pls get a smut where Reader sees alexias new photos for nike (though she had shown to reader some they did had the edit the impact you know) reader getting all hot and bothered and jumps on alexia qhen she gets home like do it everything with me

it’s not smut because i’ve got to save some material for bitter sweet

shameless plug

-

The day is, for the most part, unremarkable.

You wake up at 07:26, which is two minutes before your alarm, which is irritating because you could have had those two minutes. You stare at the ceiling for a moment, assessing your bodily functions—slight stiffness in your neck from the way you slept, residual warmth from the duvet, a faint need to pee but not urgent enough to act on. Alexia is still asleep next to you, her breathing slow and deep. There’s a dent in the pillow from where she’s been lying, a strand of hair curling across her cheek. You could stay here, watch her, but then your alarm does go off, and reality intrudes.

You shower, make coffee, scroll absentmindedly through your phone, thumb moving in automatic, practised motions. You see the photos at exactly 08:02.

And that’s when everything changes.

At first, your brain doesn’t fully register what you’re looking at. There’s a moment of lag, like a buffering screen, a stutter in your synapses. Then the full weight of it hits, and it’s like being smacked in the face with a sledgehammer. A very attractive, well-lit sledgehammer.

It’s Alexia. Obviously, it’s Alexia. But it’s Nike Alexia.

Sweaty. Flexing. Half-naked.

Her abs look like they’ve been sculpted by the gods. Her arms—veins subtly pronounced, muscles taut, defined—are a work of art. There’s a slight sheen of sweat on her skin, catching the light in a way that feels almost… obscene. Her gaze is focused, intense, fixed down the lense, like she’s contemplating the meaning of life but also potentially about to fight someone.

You stare. Then you blink. Then you stare again.

Something warm pools low in your stomach, and your grip on your phone tightens. You have seen Alexia naked. Repeatedly. You live together. You have firsthand knowledge—intimate, detailed knowledge—of every inch of her body. And yet, somehow, these photos manage to feel like a personal attack.

Your first thought is: How dare she?

Your second thought is: I need to sit down.

Which you do, heavily, onto one of the kitchen stools. Your coffee is abandoned, cooling rapidly. The world outside continues as normal—birds chirping, distant traffic noise, the faint hum of the fridge—but your internal landscape has been irrevocably altered.

You should say something. React. But words fail you, so instead, you just keep staring, swiping through the photos in what can only be described as a state of near-religious awe. You don’t even realise you’re making a noise—somewhere between a sigh and a groan—until you hear movement behind you.

Then, her voice, still thick with sleep.

“What are you looking at?”

Your soul leaves your body.

You exit out of the app too quickly, fumbling with your phone like a guilty teenager caught watching something they shouldn’t be. Which is ridiculous. You are an adult. You are in a committed relationship with this woman. There is no reason for you to be acting like this.

And yet.

“Nothing,” you say, entirely unconvincing.

Alexia pads barefoot into the kitchen, wearing one of your T-shirts, her hair slightly messy. She yawns, stretching, and your eyes immediately zero in on the movement, the flex of muscle beneath skin. It is unfair that she looks this good first thing in the morning. Unethical, even.

She squints at you, then at your phone. “Why do you look like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you’ve seen God.”

You take a slow, steadying breath.

“Not God,” you say. “Just Nike’s new campaign.”

She blinks. Then, the smirk starts, slow and knowing. “Ah.”

“Don’t ah me,” you say, pointing accusingly. “This is your fault.”

“My fault?” She moves to the fridge, retrieving the orange juice. “I didn’t do anything.”

“You posed.”

She laughs, pouring herself a glass. “I did.”

“You flexed.”

“I did.”

“You—” You gesture vaguely, helplessly. “You glistened.”

She tilts her head, amused. “That’s usually what happens when you’re sweating.”

“I don’t sweat like that,” you say, almost mournful. “I sweat like a normal person. You sweat like—like—” You pause, struggling to find the words. “Like a Nike advert.”

Alexia sips her juice, looking infuriatingly pleased with herself. “That’s convenient.”

You exhale sharply, dropping your head onto the counter. “I need help.”

“Probably.”

Silence stretches. You can feel her eyes on you, can hear the faint clink of her glass as she sets it down. Then, her voice, softer now, but with an unmistakable thread of amusement.

“Do you want me to sign one for you?”

Your head snaps up. “What?”

She gestures toward your phone. “A print. I can sign it for you. Make it personal.”

You gape at her, scandalised. “Do I look like the kind of person who would have a signed picture of their girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“You have my old Barça jersey framed.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“It’s—” You flounder. “It’s memorabilia. Historic.”

She raises an eyebrow. “So these pictures aren’t historic?”

“Not unless I drop dead from looking at them,” you mutter.

Alexia grins. “Want me to flex for you right now?”

You make a noise that is neither dignified nor human.

Alexia laughs. It’s light, teasing, but there’s something else behind it, something knowing. She closes the small distance between you, leans in, voice low.

“You’re blushing.”

“I’m not,” you lie.

Her hand brushes your arm, slow, deliberate. “You are.”

You swallow. Your mouth is dry. Your heart rate is—scientifically speaking—fucked.

This is fine. This is manageable.

Then, she actually flexes.

And you black out.

Metaphorically.

Mostly.

[weaklittlefakeboy]

let a straight guy fuck and misgender me last night- this kink is taking over my real life.

buckle in because this is going to be a long one. i’ve been desperately horny and yearning to get fucked by a real cock for weeks. yesterday, a blank profile tapped me on grindr and— out of curiosity— i tapped him back. my profile is also blank for safety reasons—all i have written on my profile is my height, weight and that im a pre-op trans man. this was how he opened our conversation…

he was straight according to his profile and clearly a chaser. but, admittedly, the idea of having a “straight” buddy who treated me like one of the bros but still used my pussy like a girl had me immediately wet and worked up. (you’ve seen my blog, this was straight out of my wildest fantasies.) in a weak, lust-clouded moment, i messaged him back and we exchanged photos (he was hotter than expected, i’m not complaining).

our conversation derailed into a discussion of kinks. he admitted he was into male-dom and breeding— my boxers were subsequently further soaked. fueled by his admission, i hesitantly told him about all of the things i post about on this blog. he seemed very much interested in my fixation on misgendering but, at that moment, continued to refer to me as a guy.

next thing i knew- he was pulling up to my apartment to fuck. i let him in and we were very quickly down to business. we made out for a while until he lifted me up by my ass and threw me onto my bed— hard. my head spun as he unbuckled his pants and got out his cock. he looked down at me with an unreadable expression and full-on ordered me to get down on my knees in front of him.

i did, of course. i remember thinking that from where i was, beneath him and his cock, he looked so huge. i felt so small. i could tell this was going to be the most exhilarating hook up i’d ever engaged in. he told me to stick my tongue out and then he slapped his cock on my face and told me to suck. one thing about me is i looove sucking dick so i got to that task earnestly and enthusiastically. i love the feeling of powerlessness when im on my knees below a “real” man looking up at him through my eyelashes. it’s so demeaning in the most honey-sweet kind of way.

he mumbled “good bitch” as he came all over my face and then he told me to crawl back to to the head of the bed and lay on my back. i did so, covered in cum, chest heaving. he stripped as he stalked over to me. i’ll never forget the dark look in this dudes eyes as he approached me in my prone position. he pinned my arms above my head with his forearm and hovered over me. his unoccupied hand grabbed one of my tits (which are admittedly small, probably a or aa) which made me gasp. he laughed at me and pulled my shirt off completely. i looked up at him lustfully as he groped me some more.

his hand drifted down further, towards the waistband of my sweatpants. his thick finger traced my slit and my back arched off of the bed. he tightened his grip on my hands and started to finger fuck me. with all the built up anticipation, i was feeling good. my eyes rolled back in my head and i started to whimper. he laughed at my pleasure and the obscene sound of his fingers battling with the wetness and said “yknow, i’ve never met a man with a pussy before.” my eyes flew open.

i’ve never once engaged in my misgendering kink in a setting with another person, let alone some random hookup. it’s always been something that, even in relationships, i’ve hidden. i feel a lot of shame around this kink. however, hearing an actual man say words i’ve read a million times on kink blogs like mine unleashed something in me. i moaned. he zeroed in on that with something i can only describe as a sharks smile.

“tits, pussy… if i look past all that hair it’s not all that hard to see a woman. especially when i do this.”

he removed his fingers and released my hands. he grabbed my legs, pulled off my sweatpants, and folded me in half with my legs together and plump, freshly shaved pussy exposed. he grabbed a pillow and covered my face. i will admit in hindsight that that part scared me a tad but i was truly blinded by lust in the moment.

“there we go, now you look exactly like every other girl i’ve put in her place. doesn’t it feel good?”

my moan was muffled but i was well and truly soaking at this point. he threw the pillow across the room and spread my legs wide, though he kept me folded and prone. “look” he ordered “what do you see between your legs?”

“a pussy…” i had whispered, eyes black with lust.

he hummed, pulling out his cock once again and laying it over my slit. “now, what do you see between my legs?”

“a cock”

he slid his cock through my wetness, teasing me. he slapped my t-dick with his cock a few times before resting the tip at my entrance. “and what do men like me do with their cocks when a pussy is presented to them like this?”

“they… fuck them?” i had responded, my heart pounding in my chest and ears.

“good girl.” he smiled as he penetrated me to the hilt. i literally screamed, i was aroused enough that i felt pleasure but the sudden fullness came with a sting. i closed my eyes as he started to pump into me hard. i missed getting fucked a lot and this was elevated x10 with the added pleasure of submission and humiliation. it was in these first few minutes— the room filled with the sounds of flesh slapping against flesh, grunts, and high pitched moans— that i fully grasped what was happening. the hook up came to be so fast and spontaneously. now, here i was, moaning underneath the heavy weight of a cis, straight man who saw me as and was fucking me raw like a girl. it was a feeling like no other.

he found his rhythm and my moans became more uncontrollable. i opened my eyes at some point and met his sharp gaze as he pounded me. “feel good, baby?” he asked me. i nodded blearily, looking down at our bodies pressed together, watching my tits bounce with each of his thrusts and the addictive sight of his manhood disappearing into my cunt. i tightened instinctively in arousal and he grunted. he growled something along the lines of being careful with that or else he was “going to put a baby in me” and the heat within me just grew hotter.

at this point he switched positions, dragging me to the edge of the bed and standing up between my legs so he could have better leverage. in this position, his torso tapped my t-dick with every thrust of his hips and i effectively lost my mind with pleasure. i screamed a conglomeration of the words “yes” “please” “oh my god” and “fuck me” while scratching lines down his back. safe to say it felt so good. he chuckled in my ear as i gasped and shivered underneath him.

it was then that i felt a massive orgasm approaching- its warmth built in my stomach and my staccato of moans began to elevate in pitch as i climbed towards the climax. i likely sounded indistinguishable from the other girls this guy had fucked. moments before i orgasmed. he stopped moving completely.

“what the fuck” i remember saying, protest cut off by his hands pinning me down again- one arm keeping my arms in place above my head and the other pressing down slightly on my neck. i looked up at him with wide eyes- pussy throbbing from built up arousal and lack of release.

“do you want to cum?” i nodded, tears growing in my eyes. “then i’m gonna need you to repeat after me sweetheart. i’m a good girl. i’m lesser than a man. i’m meant to be bred. say that and i’ll fill you up and let you finish.”

i moaned, my eyes rolled back into my head as he pressed down on my neck harder. “i-im a good…girl. i’m lesser than a man. i’m, i’m meant to be bred-“

he moaned hearing me say those words and released his hands, moving them back down to my hips where he resumed his pounding with a newfound vigor. it didn’t take long for my orgasm to build again, especially as he grunted obscenities in my ear- calling me a bitch, sliding in the use of she/her, and other sweet nothings about male dominance and female submission. as i reached the peak, stronger this time because of his edging, i wrapped my arms around his shoulders and let go. it was one of the best orgasms i’ve ever had in my life. my whole body shook and i couldn’t control the sounds coming out of my mouth. he fucked me through it, prolonging the pleasure. eventually he reached his climax as well “i’m gonna fill you up with my cum i’m gonna breed you-“ he hiked me back up onto the bed and pressed me into a mating press as he came, deep, deep inside me.

after we both came down from the high of cumming he rolled off the bed. leaving me laying there, skin flushed red, cum on my face and leaking out of my twitching pussy. he grabbed both my tits one last time and trailed his fingers down to my pussy again. he gave me one last “good girl” before getting dressed and leaving my apartment without another word.

had to get a plan b bc of my spontaneity (i’m not on birth control and don’t trust t to do the job) but it was a good night of exploring this kink either way

[girlokwhatever]

Emily engstler x passenger princess!reader go on a road trip

can be one shot/headcannon

emily engstler x passenger princess!gf hcs

˚ · .·˚ ༘*ೃ༄ʬ꩜ emily engstler and passenger princess gf on a roadtrip,,

— it’s……. so chaotic

— she’s trying to body slam all of your bags into the trunk while you sit and watch

- you always ask if she wants help but she says no.

— once the two of you finally get on the road she’s a little more relaxed

— her hand is immediately on some part of your body

- hand, shoulder, back of your neck, thighs, anywhere she can reach tbh

— you guys listen to sapphic music together!!

- she’s always giving you the aux 🤗

— if the roadtrip is late at night she gets really sappy for some reason

- always giving some love-drunk confession

- “i can’t wait to marry you.”

- “i always felt like green was your color baby.”

- “i love it when you hum.”

— “can i have a kiss?”

- “but you’re driving?”

- “doesn’t matter.”

— she ALWAYS insists on driving

— she also always tries to pack you snacks for the road and a blanket so you can be cozy

— “oh my god that fast food is making my car stink so bad.”

- “no im pretty sure that’s your attitude stinking it up in here.”

— you need to use the bathroom every hour…..

— windows down on summer days >>>>

— “you look so pretty right now.”

— if you brought a book to read she’ll ask if you can read it out loud

— “i’m so hungry i’m gonna eat you emily.”

- “i wouldn’t mind.”

— “baby don’t put your feet on the dash, that’s dangerous.”

— even though she packs you snacks you always end up getting something at the gas station or some fast food restaurant

— you always get out of the car with her at the gas station because you just want to hold and kiss her

- it’s been awhile and you miss her

— “can i get a chip please?”

- you feed it to her 🤗

— you guys play stupid games together to help the time pass

- “ok.. lemme think. oh! ok ok i got one. she’s a ten buuuuttttt she never brushes her teeth.”

- “ew what?! gross. zero. she’s a zero.”

— you’re always taking scenic photos

— sometimes you like to video the roadtrip just for cute memories

— “babe there’s something in the road..”

- “OH SHIT”

- “OH MY GOD OH MY FUCK! DONT SWERVE LIKE THAT EM.”

— “i forgot my water so im gonna drink some of yours.”

— she tries to keep you awake as long as possible but you falling asleep is just inevitable

- will talk your ear off anyway

— emily likes to take pictures of you when you fall asleep

- when she shows you said pictures you get mad because,

- “why are you on your phone if you’re driving.”

— “you look really cozy over there…”

- “i am. thanks for noticing.”

- gives you the most diabolical side-eye

— lets not talk about that time you teased her though……. iykyk

— she likes holding your hand and kissing your knuckles

- says it helps her focus

— you like holding her hand and playing with her fingers or tracing her tattoos

— “are we almost there?!”

— you always wear fluffy socks 🤗🤗🤗

— you guys always scream song lyrics together LMAO

— “that sign says tennessee but babe.. you’re the only ten i see.”

- “please never speak again.”

— you always lean the seat all the way back

- it pisses emily off LOL

— “babe i think you need to put your shoes back on.. somethings stinks..”

-……….

- “OW! babe i was just joking.”

˚ · .·˚ ༘*ೃ༄ʬ꩜

enjoy!!!

i had to make this twice cause i accidentally swiped out right as i finished it…….. 👹

[sgiandubh]

The Scottish Play

I am pretty sure this made the fandom headlines today and I am definitely late to the party...

But here are my two cents on it, also based on Baz Bamigboye's very comprehensive Deadline report, featuring some pretty interesting insights from S himself:

(Source: https://deadline.com/2025/06/sam-heughan-macbeth-royal-shakespeare-company-debut)

The 'I told you' thing is always a questionable rhetoric weapon, but I think I really gave you a pretty accurate opinion on S's potential. A very long time ago, even:

[Source: https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/725752526214971392/we-few-we-happy-few-we-band-of-brothers?source=share -posted on August 15, 2023]

It is always easy to be a sad, trolling bitch when your cultural access range stops at Bridgerton, because it is almost too easy to disparage and disregard what you are clearly unequipped to understand, for a start. Also because showing empathy and trust was never on your agenda, as far as S goes. And because your worst lies have now been shattered, all you've got left is to slam 'the Mommies', who will allegedly break havoc at the RSC's Stratford-upon-Avon venue.

You know what? I am pretty sure those Mommies, whose existence I never denied, the ones who stand in line by Arctic temperatures in front of obscure liquor stores, do not have - with all due respect - the social and economic profile to travel to Stratford for the RSC's new Macbeth show. This might sound blunt, but I think you will see no shouting, catcalling crowds. It's too far away. It is, realistically speaking, way too expensive. And it is, one more time, out of their range, for Macbeth is, after all, one of the most intricately sinister plays that ever existed. Plus zero chances for a shirtless lollapalooza - so no, I predict no eccentric happenings, this time.

I am over the moon for S and I will be there to decently clap, if the Box Office gods would allow. In the meanwhile, here are the logistical details, as per the RSC's website itself:

[Source: https://www.rsc.org.uk/macbeth/]

Macbeth will be on from October 9 to December 6, 2025 and the tickets will be available for the public on June 25. Already bookmarking these and I will keep you posted.

Two other things, for the road, to keep it simple and clear - from the Deadline paper:

So, it was her, on that photo taken by the Three Brazilian Stooges, the next day after her brutal disappearance from the Landcon. Despite the pathetic guessing game, featuring his mother, some mystery woman grossly hinted by the OG Troll, and probably even Evita Perón, if only she could have been available (no dice, for very obvious reasons). So yes, they absolutely do not hate each other, which is really an understatement, if you see what I mean, here. Because yes, she is 'obviously in London as well' (what a peculiar choice of words, by the way), because they are 'obviously not together' (this reminded me of that particularly feeble denial, for some reason and my left foot they aren't). And because this probably was the perfect occasion for S to quietly slide the cursor towards a 'nothing to see here' narrative, allowing for further twists and turns down the road (yes, mark me, LOL).

Finally, of course she is in London and not in GLA, where the Taj Mahal stands forlorn and forgotten and not under repairs at all, which is really strange for such a hefty real estate investment, unless (heh)... And yes, these are very fresh news I am bringing you, with my thanks to the kind informer - you know who you are and I am grateful for the share.

Last, but not least, for the hair fetishists who abound in this fandom:

'A new skin and a new me and new beginnings'. In his own words, ladies and gentlemen.

This made me grin, but in the best possible way. As for The Gathering, yes - I have thoughts and possibly even questions. A bit later tonight, though.

PS: Shakespeare is not my favorite playwright (Tennessee Williams is the lucky winner, and by far). But yeah, I'll make an effort.

[biancasaidstfu]

I saw the anon who posted about Nicola's following. Just my two cents but I have this feeling that Nicola doesn't mind if somebody is going to unfollow her just based on her rumoured romance. She repeatedly expressed how much she wants to be recognize individually because of her hard work on her career, her achievements and so forth. She wants people to mainly focused on her achievements and I think she will not mind if people unfollow her because of her friend JD.

Second is, I saw somebody asks why Nicola have allowed to let the JD narrative for so long? One, after that NY incident, she seemed to tighten up. She closed her tags and now, only approved tags are thing that you can see on her ig. Also before the incident, she is removing the tags on her that she and jd are in a romantic relationship. Nic had done that for multiple times before, erasing the narrative that she is someone who is in a relstionship with JD. And we thought that's the end of it. Like we see them interacting, obviously they have been friends for years and yet only last year JD conveniently came into picture in the midst of Nic and Luke romance rumours. The thing that should got you thinking was, why now? Why again, now? When we thought she tried to end that narrative, it seems like we got back to zero. Very important note to add: JD dating rumours never came from her. She never initiated it. She never started it. It all started by fans who felt betrayed by Luke's seemingly relationship with Antonia, and also haters started to jump ship. It all started with the innocent festival photos of them cozying up.

For months Nic are trying to remove any traces of JD's pic on her tags that are saying they're dating, and now again. Like the timing should really get you thinking. I know looking at it with Nic's POV is confusing, but, if you add Luke's situation in the picture it made perfectly sense.

Also, Nicola is a grown woman. Its perfectly reasonable for her not to say anything about her love life. Its her business alone and alone. She's aware of the possibilities of allowing the JD narrative run, and she obviously knows people are saying she and JD are a couple. She knows it. She always knows the risks that came with it. But at some point, she will learn the consequences that came with it. Hence, the decrease in following. The invasion of privacy. And whole other things we don't know of. The question is why is she not saying anything? We don't know. But what we do know is that, its never because she and JD are a thing. When deleted that tags of him and her, we should have taken that as a hint of their status. It all came down to one thing, JD's appearance is convenient. Like super convenient. 👀

As a person who studies in the field of cosmology, my professor always says that don't take things literally. Because the things unseen and unsaid are the ones filling the void that the things seen have said. They are the ones who holds the most importance of all. And I agree, because both Nic and Luke's silence of all is what makes these whole thing really sketchy and it made me look the whole lore completely different, completely opposite of what tabloids are telling us.

Read this 👆👆👆

[jenscx]

[46] DAYLIGHT — comic con dupe

“yena, are you sure this is the correct place?” you ask, eyeing the run down building skeptically. the land surrounding it was almost barren and you would have assumed it to be abandoned if not for the steady stream of people entering.

the girl merely brushes you off and pulls you through the doors, minju and sakura following closely behind. after being checked by security, the doors slide open, and the room is filled with chatter and conversation. your eyes wander past the various booths, set up with merchandise and games alike. at the centre of it all, there was an elaborate stage set up.

“woah,” minju stares in awe, “i thought this was a youtuber event?”

you snap your head backwards, frowning, “youtuber? this is an event for youtubers?”

yena winces but she barely manages to hide it behind the gleeful smile on her face. whipping out her camera, she pushes it into sakura’s hands, who has become well-accustomed as yena’s cameraman.

“hi chat! this is kind of impromptu and i’ve kept it a secret since i want to surprise everyone. currently we are at a convention for youtubers and i’m here with y/n, kkura unnie and minju!” she waves at the camera as viewers start to pile in. you can only groan, knowing that yena had set you up. a convention for youtubers? why did they bring you here? for fun? or did they want you to meet someone?

the smirks plastered across your friends’ faces only prove your hypothesis correct. yet, they didn’t know you were already planning on talking to jimin. the thought of seeing her again made your heart hammer against your chest out of anxiety. there was zero reason for her to keep trying to win you over, especially when you could tell she was fed up. lost in your thoughts, yena

“y/n,” she nudges you, “say something to chat!”

you reluctantly wave while minju puts two thumbs up.

“anyway! we’ll be walking around now,” yena grins, looping her arm through yours so that you couldn’t escape. you can’t believe that somehow, your friends with a combined iq of a hundred, managed to trick you so easily.

as minju and sakura fawn over the merch, you pince yena’s waist. “if i see hyewon, i’m getting the fuck out of here.”

the girl, understandably, stiffens before nodding fervently, “yes ma’am.”

little did you know, jimin was currently fawning over the pokemon merch booth, posing with the plushies while chaewon takes photos for her.

“do you think they’ll let fans in?” yunjin asks nervously, glancing at the crowd outside.

“jimin! don’t do that to charmander!” chaewon shrieks as the influencer opens her mouth to engulf the pokemon in a faux bite. minjeong can only stare wistfully, thinking about the impending demise of jimin when she finally sees you again.

yena had instructed her to bring jimin to the stage, forcing her to conduct an interview, which minjeong could do. she just didn’t know how to pull the older girl away without yunjin or chaewon becoming suspicious. eyeing the nearby booths, minjeong spots a long queue for corndogs.

“hey, can you guys go get us some?” she points at the stall. just as jimin is about to offer to go, minjeong tugs at her sleeve, pouting and putting on her best puppy eyes.

“uhm, girl. let me go?”

“unnie, i need you to stay here with me.”

jimin tilts her head, confused but at minjeong’s insistence, sends yunjin and chaewon off. the moment that they’re alone, minjeong loses her facade and looks around frantically. there’s a few people she recognises, but none of them look eerily similar to her girlfriend. except for a rather prominent black haired figure, currently headed towards her.

“jimin, let’s go over there!” minjeong yanks the older girl away with a yelp.

“wha—”

“hey guys!” she calls out loudly, attracting the attention of the girls. jimin gasps just as the group turns around. minjeong already expects a scolding when they go home but right now, all she can think about is minju’s praise. minjeong grins, pushing jimin slightly to you.

your throat clenches up at the sight of the influencer so close in your proximity. yena’s wide smile only serves as a distinct hint that she was the cause of all this. you try to hide your surprise, already regretting accepting their invitation to come to this convention in the first place. the moment minju suggested the idea, you should have shut it down immediately. not to mention she said minjeong was asking! holy shit. you scowl as jimin reluctantly introduces herself to your friends.

“what are you doing here?” you hiss when minjeong greets everyone. jimin rolls her eyes, a smug smile on her face, “before you say anything, i didn’t know you were coming either. guess it was fate.”

“girl, shut up.”

“where’s your other friends?” yena asks, winking. you groan, feeling stupid to have fallen for such an obvious trap. minjeong points to the approaching duo, arguing about something.

“uhm, since when did y’all get here?” yunjin asks. sakura turns the camera, “say hi to yena’s chat.”

“oh. hi?”

you can already imagine the chat going crazy. this would definitely be on your timeline tomorrow.

“anyway, you guys don’t have to know how we met,” yena loops her arm through yunjin’s with familiarity, despite having met her for the first time. you envy the girl’s confidence as she drags the tallest away, prancing around. you can sense some tension between minju and chaewon that disperses quickly with minjeong’s help. while sakura follows yena closely, you’re left alone with jimin, who frankly speaking, looks too proud.

“so our friends planned this?” she breaks the silence.

you nod, “i guess. i’m gonna beat yena up.”

“aw, why?” jimin pouts. fighting the urge to smack her, you distract yourself by focusing on the charmander plush in her hands, “where’d you get that?”

jimin raises it boastfully, “this is my son. i adopted him five minutes ago.”

eyeing the girl weirdly, you choose to remain silent.

“he can be your son too—”

“oh my god, shut the fuck up.”

“our son is listening! watch your language!” you can’t stop the bewildered laugh from escaping your lips at jimin’s words. her eyes light up with amusement as she holds her stupid orange lizard.

in the midst of your laughter, you fail to notice someone approaching you from behind. footsteps thud against the convention’s floor and jimin tenses up, her grip tightening against the plush.

“y/n? park y/n?”

no way. that voice…

your head whirls just as jimin moves forward, nearly shielding your entire vision with her hair. tensing up, you move back, instinctively hiding behind jimin’s taller figure. you catch a glimpse of the brunette, vlog camera in hand. of course she was still recording content.

“don’t talk to her,” jimin states firmly. you would have laughed for how ridiculous she looked; shooting glares while hugging a silly charmander plushie in her arms.

“it-it’s okay,” you shove jimin’s arm away to reveal the girl that you’ve avoided ever since the breakup.

hyewon frowns, crossing her arms, “can i talk to you privately?”

you don’t know if she’s unaware of jimin’s stance, or she merely chose to ignore the other girl’s presence. surprise overtakes you as jimin nearly lunges at hyewon, sneering, “she’s not going to talk to you. ever.”

“jimin—”

“are you her mother? she can make her own decisions.”

you hate how they’re speaking as if you aren’t in the conversation at all. a poor choice of yours for liking older women, you think. maybe now wasn’t the time to reflect on your love life. you still had two women glaring at each other, almost killing each other with their stares.

“jimin, just wait here, okay? i’ll talk to hyewon unnie.”

jimin’s gaze narrows into slits as she turns her head back, “you call her unnie? you don’t even call me unnie.”

huffing, you shove at her shoulder to walk away with hyewon. dealing with one ex was enough, you didn’t have time or energy to deal with another. not that she was fully considered an ex.

you can hear hyewon’s footsteps slowly following behind. after walking a few metres, you reach a secluded corner, away from any windows with peering fans. you couldn’t risk the chance of someone potentially eavesdropping on your conversation with kang hyewon out of all people.

her sudden appearance had nearly thrown you back into a whirlwind of the past. you hadn’t expected hyewon to be here, but maybe with your recent experiences, you should have anticpated the worst to come.

“why are you here?” you start asking. simple and easy. there wasn’t a need to get into the past.

hyewon sighs sheepishly, “filming for my channel.”

you resist scoffing. of course it was for her channel. what else? you should have seen it coming.

“are you dating karina now?” she asks.

“i don’t think it’s any of your business,” you reply back coolly. hyewon smiles weakly, “she seemed a little defensive back there. she’s still glaring at me now. i’m just curious.”

you can feel jimin’s gaze burning into the back of your head.

“she’s a… friend.”

“i see,” she hums, “how have you been?” you wince at the awkwardness, already dreading such a conversation starter, “i’m fine.”

“yeah? that’s good. especially after…” the words go unsaid. hyewon’s smile fades, “ahem. anyway, do you think we can get coffee later?”

“sorry. i’m already getting coffee with jimin,” you easily answer. never have you been more grateful for the influencer than now. hyewon’s face falls before she nods, “okay.”

you gesture back at jimin, who’s still waiting at the same spot like a kid, “it was nice catching up with you. i have to go now.”

hyewon’s hand reaches out to stop you, “have you moved on?” your eyes flit to her grip, breath hitching as you take in her question.

“have you moved on from me?” she repeats.

your head flicks up in surprise, “why are you asking?”

she shakes her head, “i just wanted to know how you’re feeling now. despite spending so long with you, i can’t tell what you’re thinking but i hope you’re happy now. happier than you were with me.”

you remain mum, allowing hyewon to continue, “i know i hurt you. i’m sorry for how i ended things. it wasn’t right for me to betray you like that. i don’t think you’ll forgive me but i just want you to know that i still care for you, so don’t hesitate to text me. my number hasn’t changed.”

some hidden part of you, stowed away in the furthest corner of your heart, longs for hyewon’s acknowledgement and attention. the young girl who would do anything to have her back. you can’t deny the feeling of liberation that comes rushing in.

“i want to forgive you, but there’s nothing to forgive anymore.” even if you did forgive her, there was nothing left of your relationship. just a distant memory that you held close to your heart.

“i cared for you. i really did but you threw it all away. i’m not upset anymore but i don’t think we should ever meet again.”

hyewon reluctantly nods.

“see you around,” she says with a tone of finality before walking off. your heart stutters in your chest despite the weight being lifted off your shoulders. resounding footsteps reach your ears as jimin scurries up behind you, “what did she say?! did she say something mean?”

you don’t bother turning around.

“she asked if i’m over her,” you reply, somewhat awestruck.

“are— are you?” jimin asks hesitantly.

you can’t believe jimin’s asking such a silly question.

“let’s go now,” you order. you need to talk to her.

masterlist | next

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[centrally-unplanned]

Wasn't quite in the headspace today to be postin', but the New York Times had to drag me to my keyboard by publishing an article about "The rise of otaku". An article on otaku! In the Year of Our Lord 2025!!

It isn't that you can't do that, of course - the thesis about how Japan's otaku approaches to fandom grew to dominate the wider world is a perfectly valid one to discuss. But if you do, you need to grapple with the cultural detritus the West has accumulated about "otaku culture" over the years, and it does not reach that bar. It isn't "cringe", it isn't obviously wrong, but it is stuck in the past. Take the headshot you can see above of a 単眼面/Tanganmen, or "one-eyed mask". The author is using it to showcase the ~crazy things~ people in Japan who are into anime-adjacent stuff do. In other words, the Weird Japan trope, where for complex reasons niche one-off things done by influencer-types or media companies in Japan get transported to the West to be used as symbols of Japan's "alt" culture. So while in English searching "tanganmen" throws up Vice articles, in Japan the creator of these masks Ozawa Dango has 6000 followers on Twitter:

She first made them in 2012, and while like props to her for keeping an art project alive, the source the NYT uses is an article from 2019, 7 years later - which is itself from 6 years ago! This isn't a "thing" in Japan, it is not a relevant part of otaku culture, and I think having it be front billing here is deceptive. I have a similar-if-less-intense reaction to the usages of the classic "otaku room photos" in the article:

This does reflect a real phenomenon, for sure, but for one the first photo is from 2014, and the second from 2019. In fact, none of the photos in the article are from the 2020's at all - a serious problem for a discussion of a youth pop-culture-focused movement. But let's take that first photo - it is from Shiori Kawamoto's 2014 “Daraku Room” book. Did you notice, like I did, that our girl is, well, really hot? Like way too hot to be that devoted to moe yuri series YuruYuri? For context, let's look at some other photos from that book!

Thanks, JapanTease.net! I can't tell you where this book ranks on the gravure-scale, I don't own it, but I can promise you is not zero. That girl might actually be a massive yuri manga fan, I won't judge, but the point is that pulling photos from a softcore porn glam book to stand-in for otaku is not what we in the statistics business call a representative sample. Like the one-eyed mask, this isn't real otaku at all.

Okay, enough photo dunks, let's get into the text. Those dunks are relevant, of course; they play on older tropes about Japan, "Weird Japan" and the "Otaku Room", and that problem continues throughout the article. First up, we have foundational quotes from Susan Napier, who is something of a trope herself as the first American academic to publish serious-yet-accessible works about anime starting in the 1990's. I am not a fan of her work, as she constantly tries to draw overly ambitions and serious social and historical connections between anime and the world, and we see that on display here:

[She] traces the origins of the otaku to the Edo period. Beginning in the early 17th century, sanctioned red-light districts known as pleasure centers were built in Tokyo, Kyoto and Osaka as sites for courtesans to entertain men; other areas were designated for enjoying Kabuki theater. “You had the development of a fan culture with people who loved a particular courtesan or actor.”

Strictly wrong? No - but Edo's red-light districts did not invent the idea of a celebrity, let's be real. That is a socially-universal concept that existed for centuries before then across the globe, and it didn't really lead to otaku (a very modern phenomenon) in any causal way. But it makes it sound more distinguished, more artistic, the way 2000's fans of anime in the west wanted their hobby to look.

That temptation to universalize cuts a different way too - lumping too much under the "otaku" umbrella. Since it has that "otaku led the future of fandom" thesis, it wants to label everything from themed Shinjuku bars to Lolita as "obsessive otaku fandom" to sell you on that idea. However, while those concepts are linked, sure, are they the same phenomenon? When, as the article quotes, Marie Kondo calls herself an "organizing otaku", is she actually saying anything about creative fandom? Or is she making a joke, and she is just an interior designer/lifestyle guru like every country everywhere has had for decades? These comparisons obscure more than elucidate, because "otaku" culture was historically, by a large majority, composed of media otaku. Japan did not invent or export a model of people being devoted craftsmen or opening themed restaurants. What it did "export" was the idea of fandom-as-identity and fandom-as-creativity, which media fans in the relevant eras dominated.

A topic around which, admittedly, the article has a bit of a knot it can't untie; because it is an article about otaku that doesn't want to mention sex. Beyond Edo-era red-light districts, the only mention is from a gender lens:

Wong and others make a point to address what he calls “the elephant in the room”: an undercurrent of female sexualization that began with manga and which, in what’s still a rather male-dominated society, extends to the broader world of otaku

"Elephant in the room" guys it is the whole room. It is a whole city block! You mention Comiket - oh sorry, "Comic Market" - but delicately dance around how those "750,000 attendees" bought at least as many porn doujins. And unlike Marie Kondo this is foundational to how otaku cultural dynamics were formed, and how they spread - the erotic content was a core part of why everyone "showed up" in the early days. And it is how the media mix and fandom-creator model spread to other countries, building on extant communities writing fanfiction and making fanart zines. You could not mention this topic at all if you didn't want to, but if you are going to touch on "sexualization" you need to own its importance. I almost see this as a sort of memetic response; in the anime early days everyone bashed otaku as perverts. In the new, tolerant era of today the author doesn't want to engage with that, but they overcorrect by essentially ignoring it. You have to find the middle here if you want to understand the history.

Okay, okay, that is enough - I know this is a very "death of a thousand cuts" essay, there isn't like a core failed thesis. As the New York Times, articles like these both set the standard for narratives around a topic and reflect the standard ideas already out there, so it is frustrating for it to be so... ungainly, and I wanted to note that. Set the record straight, as it were. But I will admit it is better than it probably would have been a decade ago, it does reflect growth in the discourse. And it isn't like it has some straight up nonsen—

After the original series [Neon Genesis Evangelion] aired, his most passionate followers, disappointed with the final two episodes, pressured Anno to redo the ending in a subsequent film trilogy.

Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME there are practically storyboards for End of Evangelion in the show broadcast next episode previews oh sure fans had to pressure Anno to fulfill the dream of every anime creative to get a big movie budget and make millions of dollars doing what he wanted to do for the TV show anyway before they collectively shot the production schedule in the head what kind of ADV Films 90's mistranslated rag interview garbled by a 2000's Reddit post bullshit is this the NEW YORK TIMES is LYING ABOUT THE PRODUCTION HISTORY OF EVANGELION I will BREAK INTO YOUR GOD DAMN HOUS—

[roosterr]

white flag ✹ ch 6

note: hoo boy, this one's a doozy. didn't mean to project so hard with this one, but fuck it we ball ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

pairing: ghost x gn!reader

wc: 5.3k

no use of y/n reader's callsign is 'stingray'

summary: you reach a breaking point with simon, and he finally realises what he needs to do to fix things.

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, some light violence, ghost finally getting his shit together, arguing, kitchen floor romance, fluff

ao3

【prev】 || 【next】

simon didn't see you at home. in fact, he found out from soap that you went straight to the pub with him and the others. you didn't even drop your car off, which meant you weren't going to get drunk, you were going to avoid him.

it stung – a feeling he’s become quite familiar with lately. but you wanted him to leave you alone, to give you space, and seeing as he had no idea what else to do, he would oblige.

he sits at the kitchen table, across from the chair that's become yours through some unspoken agreement. a random book is in his hands – an attempt to keep himself occupied, but he's been staring at the same page for the last twenty minutes and he hasn't absorbed a single word. you are the only thing on his mind, no matter how hard he concentrates on what's in front of him.

slamming his book shut with a frustrated grunt, he gives in to the fact that he's not going to be able to do anything meaningful until you get home. perhaps trying to talk now that you'd be alone would work out better than his previous attempts.

he intends to go straight up to his room when he leaves the kitchen, but for some reason simon finds himself standing outside the door to your room, peering into the darkness through the gap where you'd left it ajar.

he shouldn't go in, he knows that. from the start he'd promised himself to give you complete privacy – he hadn't even set foot in the living room since you'd moved in, apart from the times he brought you hot chocolate and put you to bed. it was the least he could do, offer you a space to call your own, since you really didn’t have much else.

but simon missed you; he missed being near you, the scent of your shampoo and the laundry detergent you use, just basking in your presence. he wouldn't touch anything, he rationalised, he just wanted to be surrounded by something that was you.

it’s dark, but he doesn't even bother to turn the light on, the hall light through the door illuminates the room enough for him to see where he's going. the armchair on the far side of the room is unoccupied, so he collapses there with a deep exhale.

the solitude must be driving him insane, because when he closes his eyes he can almost convince himself that you’re there with him, sitting across from him with one of his books in your hands. the disappointment that washes over him when he opens his eyes to be alone again isn’t rational, but knowing that still doesn’t dull the ache.

on the mantle, he notices something definitely not left there by him; first, he spots the flowers he gave you, a little wilted and slightly squashed, sitting in a vase that was here when he moved in. he feels a fleeting sense of relief at that, he wouldn't have been surprised if you'd thrown them straight in the bin.

but more interestingly, there's a photo frame, something simon owns exactly zero of, so it must be something of yours. he stands up, his curiosity getting the better of him, and takes the frame gently in his hand. tilting it into the light so the photo is visible, he feels a faint smile tugging at his lips at the sight of a younger you surrounded by your previous team.

you’re grinning widely, making bunny ears behind one of your teammates crouched in front of you, while someone behind does the same to you. as his eyes follow their arm to their face, poking out just above your head, he feels a sharp frown pull at his brows.

it’s anderson.

simon blinks a few times, in the hopes the he was simply imagining things – that his hatred for the man and lack of a good night's sleep was causing him to see things, but no matter how many times he looked away and back again, anderson’s face refused to change.

the urge to smash the photo builds up like steadily boiling water the longer he stares at it, so he places it back on the mantle before it gets too strong. why was he just now finding out you used to work with anderson? it explained why he was so overly familiar with you. was that why you liked him more? you had to be close with him – closer than simon was with you.

were you… involved with him?

the very thought makes his heart sink like a stone. his head feels light as he stumbles back out of your room, the acidic taste of bile rising in his throat.

not a moment after the door clicks shut, simon feels his phone buzz in his pocket, pushing his spiralling train of thought to the back of his mind. he pulls it out, the screen lit up with johnny's name on the caller id, but he doesn't want to answer it.

he lets it ring until the missed call notification appears instead. expecting that to be it, simon moves to shove his phone back in his pocket, but it buzzes again before he can get there.

it's a text this time – more of them coming through before he's had time to read the first. with a tired exhale, he opens the messages from johnny.

you coming pub? 20:23 pm

you should 20:23 pm

sting is here ;) 20:24 pm

no. 20:25 pm

why notttttttt 20:25 pm

cmon just get down here 20:25 pm

seriously i think you should come we need you 20:26

fine. 20:28 pm

let's fucking go 20:28 pm

better run tho be quick 20:28 pm

simon breathes a sigh of exasperation, but grabs his jacket off the hook. he doesn't even bother to change his balaclava for a more socially acceptable mask. whatever johnny's reasoning was for getting him to come to the pub, he was secretly grateful for the excuse to go out and see you – whether he would actually get to talk to you or simply watch you from the sidelines.

✹✹✹

slipping in quietly through the side entrance, simon is relieved to find the pub not nearly as rowdy as it is normally. it seems to be only the one-four-one and their associate unit mixed in with the locals, rather than being packed with soldiers like usual.

immediately he spots price, taking up a booth in the far corner, who raises a hand in greeting to him but otherwise stays put. the gesture draws johnny and gaz's attention to him, both of whom give him enthusiastic waves of their own.

he doesn't see you with them, which prompts him to scour the rest of the pub as he trudges over to his comrades. it doesn't take him long to find you over by the bar, though when he spots anderson unnecessarily close to you, he feels like his heart might just stop.

now that he knows you and him have history, simon feels a pit of hopelessness in his chest that he knows won't ever go away as long as he has to see you be happy with someone else.

it should be me, he thinks, a bitter downturn to his lips under his mask. 

"why am i here?" he grumbles when he finally makes it to the booth, choosing to stay standing at the end of the table rather than sitting down with them.

"because you need'ta sort out this thing between you and sting." johnny replies, pushing himself up to stand next to simon and giving his shoulder a firm pat.

simon rolls his eyes to hide the way soap’s words make him flinch. "i've tried. they won't listen to me." he mumbles. he sees price shake his head in a show of disappointment, which only makes him feel even worse about the whole situation. aside from you, the captain’s been the hardest on him for the way he fucked things up, and while the sergeants clearly think he's an idiot, they've done their best to support him.

"then make them listen!" gaz exclaims, "explain yourself, tell them you'd do anything for them," he gestures one hand to where you’re standing at the bar, "tell them you love them!"

"i don't–" he begins to protest as he follows gaz’s hand, but the words die on his tongue when his eyes land on you; the dim lighting of the pub illuminates the way you smile so pleasantly, simon’s heart skips a beat. turning away from you before he becomes too entranced, he shoots gaz a light glare. "keep your voice down…"

"just tell them, l.t." gaz has an easy, knowing smile on his face when he meets simon’s eyes. looking between him and johnny, who wears a similar expression, he lets out a tired sigh.

"you’re a pain in my arse, both of you." he grumbles, massaging the creases in his forehead over the fabric of his mask.

"you're gonna do it, right?" soap grins from behind his pint, wiggling his eyebrows in a way that has simon groaning, but nodding nonetheless. "good lad, i knew you had it in ya!" soap claps him on the back once more before taking his seat again.

before any of them can bother him further, the sound of raised voices reaches their ears from the bar. not loud enough to hear what they're saying, but enough to know that there's a problem.

he's not sure what he's expecting when he turns around; but seeing you pushing a very drunk anderson’s arm off your shoulder with a scowl on your face, simon finds himself stalking over to you before he can even think about it.

"c'mon, we're good together, we have history!" anderson's words are slurred, leaving no mystery as to just how drunk he is. he leans further into your personal space, and simon watches your face scrunch up as you lean away, placing your hand on anderson’s chest to keep him at bay. "you're not seriously into that freak, are you? with that creepy fuckin' mask?"

that makes simon pause. he wanted to rip anderson away from you – of course he did – but he also wanted to hear your response, whether you would denounce him or not.

"oi!" you exclaim, an incredulous tone to your voice. "he is not a freak, don't be so rude!"

the way you defend him makes his heart swell. you also didn't deny what anderson said, and though he knows it's arrogant of him, simon still holds out hope that you don't truly hate him.

with the tiniest smirk under his mask, simon closes the distance, coming to stand at your side between you and anderson.

"sting." he addresses you, meeting your eyes and completely ignoring the annoyed mumbling from the idiot on his other side. "you alright?"

the look you give him is one of surprise and relief, but you don't get to say a single word before anderson is pushing simon's shoulder so they're facing each other.

"lieu‐lieutenant ghost, fancy seein' you here," anderson is clearly annoyed at his intrusion, poking a finger into his chest that gets slapped away just as quickly. "come to show everyone how big 'n tough you are, eh?"

"andy, stop it." you hiss, pushing him back again and stepping between him and simon.

anderson scoffs at you. "why should i? we're not at work, he can't do anything, he's just some random loser." he glares up at simon, a pitiful attempt at intimidation he knows he wouldn't dream of trying if he was sober.

"give it a rest, sergeant." simon grumbles, rolling his eyes at the way anderson puffs his chest out and stands up straighter. 

"y'know, sting was right, you're a huge fuckin' arsehole," anderson spits, ignoring the way you try to keep him away when he steps around you be face to face with simon again. "can't blame 'em for not wantin' to put up with you anymore."

simon flinches ever so slightly at that, but thankfully anderson is too drunk to notice.

"that's enough." he growls, his nails digging painfully into his palms.

"no, no! what th'fuck is your problem, man?" anderson shouts, shoving simon's chest – which doesn't move him, but pisses him off anyway. "you think you're so much better than me, but you hide your ugly mug behind that fuckin' mask like a pussy!" his raised voice draws the attention of the other patrons, and an uneasy silence falls over the room as the background chatter halts.

"just fuckin' shut up," simon rolls his eyes again, shifting his gaze over to you and jerking his head in a gesture for you to move. "c'mon."

"and don't even get me started on sting!" anderson continues, pointing a swaying finger in your face which gets slapped away the same as before. "you're so obsessed with them, it's creepy as shit, everyone knows it!"

"i'm not–"

"they must be a fuckin' freak n'all, to be into you, you're both fucked in the head–"

"watch your fuckin' mouth." simon spits, taking the front of anderson's shirt roughly in his fist. he could insult simon until his last breath, but to drag your name into this ignited the flame of real anger in his chest.

"ghost, let's just go." you grasp his wrist, the one holding anderson, and perhaps if simon could focus on anything other than the smug little bastard he's moments away from punching, he might’ve felt the warmth that your touch brought him.

"–that's why they have go to the bloody psy-psychiatrist all the time, they're fuckin' mental–" the moment the words left anderson’s mouth, simon feels every sliver of restraint he had immediately leave his body; the only sound he can hear is the rushing of blood in his ears as his face twists in rage.

"shut the fuck up." he seethes, rearing his free arm back to throw possibly the most satisfying hit of his life; but before he can land it, his arm is immobilised he’s being yanked away from the sergeant.

suddenly price is in his face with a more than disapproving frown, walking him backwards with a firm hand on his shoulder. "get a hold of yourself!" he yells, commanding and abrasive.

simon grunts and pulls price's hand off of him, leaning around the captain just in time to see you deliver a fierce slap to anderson’s face that resonates in the quiet of the room.

anderson’s head whips to the side with the blow, the shell-shocked expression displaying the clear bruise forming on his cheek and his ego. simon had to admit, the sight of that prick with a bright red handprint on his cheek was incredibly gratifying.

"don't fucking talk about me like that." you spit at him, the most intense glare he's ever seen on you creasing your features. simon notices the way it softens when your eyes meet his, as johnny pushes you away from anderson – who's still reeling from the hit, but nobody bothers to take care of him.

he can't take his eyes off of you. it's like the rest of the world has just faded away and you're the only other person left, because right now, you're the only person that matters.

its drizzling by the time you drag him out by the arm. the damp air has a somewhat sobering effect on him as he allows you to pull him along with you.

"i could’ve handled that." you mutter angrily over your shoulder. you're taking him in the direction of the car park, the orange glow of the lamp posts casting shadows on your irritated expression that he finds himself admiring like fine art.

"i'd do it again." simon replies, still having never once taken his eyes off of your form. when you let go of his arm, having arrived at your car, he immediately feels the absence of your touch. he watches you walk around to the driver's side, meeting his eyes over the car and pausing in your tracks.

you hold his gaze for a moment, before looking down and shaking your head.

"just get in the fucking car." you mutter, opening the driver’s side door and disappearing from his sight. he follows suit without question, the car shifting under his weight as he settles into the passenger seat.

you pull out of the car park without another word, your face hard as you pointedly ignore his eyes on you. the silence between is thick, without even the white noise of the radio to break it.

in some way, simon’s glad you chose him over anderson, that you're driving him home rather than taking the side of that idiot. but, then again, he remembers the history the two of you must have, and he feels mildly guilty for potentially breaking up a long-term friendship of yours. not too guilty, though; the guy was a certified dickhead.

when the tension becomes too much, he decides to ask the only question that's been circling his mind like a vulture since he laid eyes on your photo.

"you know him." simon mutters. it's more of a statement than a question, really. "i saw the picture."

he sees your eyes narrow, his own still locked on your profile as you face the road. "you went through my stuff?" you reply, a small frown pulling at your brows.

"no, i just saw the picture." for a moment, he’s afraid he’d unintentionally started another argument, but his words only evoke a deeply exhausted sigh from you.

"he's just one of my old teammates." you reply, the sadness in your voice tugging at simon’s heartstrings. "i thought he was my friend, but obviously i'm not a very good judge of character, am i?"

perhaps that was a dig aimed at simon too, but he can only really focus on how disappointed you sound.

"it’s not your fault. he’s just a twat." he attempts to reassure you, to hopefully make you feel better, but he can't tell how successful it was.

"i know that now, i just–" you huff, cutting yourself off as you pull up outside home. you shut off the engine, massaging your temples with the same frown still on your face. he's tempted to say something more, but no words come to him.

"nevermind, i don't even wanna think about it." you sigh, quickly getting out of the car and slamming the door behind you. he follows behind, the lights of your car flashing as you lock it, illuminating the way your shoulders are slumped as you disappear into the house.

simon figures you'll want time to cool off after what happened, perhaps a cold cloth for your hand that's undoubtedly stinging after such a powerful hit. the memory is enough to make him smile lightly, a feeling of pride blooming in his chest for you.

he creeps upstairs on autopilot, his gaze lingering on the closed door to your room as he passes by.

it's still quite early in the night, so he's not surprised when he hears your door open and shut again downstairs – you going to sit in the kitchen, he assumes.

he wanted to talk with you alone, without the threat of anderson interrupting him again – and now is as good a time as any.

you're sitting at the kitchen table with your laptop open on some real estate site when he shuffles into the room. he stands in the doorway, watching as you continue sifting through nearby flat listings without looking over to him.

neither of you speak. you're not willing to break the silence first, and neither is he.

for a moment, simon just stands there, staring at you. he can see you watching him from the corner of your eye from where he shifting uncomfortably by the door. he half expects you to tell him to piss off, but to his surprise, you stay quiet. taking your silence as a sign that you aren’t, in fact, revolted by his presence, he inches closer and closer to you until he's standing directly next to where you're sitting.

still, neither of you say a word.

a minute or two passes with him looming over you, watching as you scroll through page after page of available flats, a shadowy figure in your peripheral.

eventually you find a reasonably priced listing, and when you click it, only then does ghost speak up.

"you don't need to leave." he says, cringing under his mask at the sound of his voice. he hopes you don’t pick up on how pathetic he sounds. "you already have a house."

"what? what are you talking about?" your eyes remain locked on your screen as you reply, voice flat and disinterested.

simon releases a shaky sigh, his nerve quickly faltering the longer you continue to ignore him. there's a brief pause as you inspect the words on your screen, before simon brings his hand up behind your laptop and firmly closes it. with an annoyed huff you finally look at him, piercing him with a narrow glare.

"you live here." he murmurs, staring intently back at you, fighting with himself to keep his expression neutral, to stay strong.

with me. the unspoken words hang heavy in the air.

"i can't stay here, there's only one bed for christ's sake." you grumble, brow furrowed as you pinch the bridge of your nose. "my back can't handle sleeping on that sofa forever."

"then sleep in my bed." there’s no hesitation in his words; he would gladly sleep on the lumpy sofa-bed if it meant you would be more comfortable – if it meant you would stay. the sound of your chair scraping the floor echoes in the stillness of the kitchen as you stand up, to be closer to eye level with him. 

"oh what, and leave you on the sofa? in your own home?" you scoff, shaking your head as you step around him.

"well, yeah. you�� i…" he reaches a hand out to touch you, stopping himself just above your elbow before he pulls back. the gesture stops you in your tracks, drawing your gaze back to his eyes. "don't leave." he murmurs, just above a whisper.

your mouth opens to respond, but his words catch you completely off guard. your eyes flit down, and he knows you can see the way his hands tremble at his side. he felt so… vulnerable, a word he never expected to apply to him, of all people, but you had that effect on him.

"just stay…" he whispers, a desperate plea as he squeezes his eyes shut to block out everything except you and him. "please…"

another tension filled silence stretches between you. he opens his eyes again, blinking as he meets your gaze. there's a profound sadness there, dragging your features downwards in a frown that sinks his stomach.

your sigh breaks the silence.

"i can't keep doing this, ghost." you mumble, dipping your head and rubbing your eyes.

"...what?"

"this! one minute you're nice to me, then you're a complete dickhead, and then you're back to being nice again." you exclaim, waving your hands around in frustration to amplify your point. "it’s exhausting."

"that's not– i'm not doing it on purpose." he frowns, the internal panic that arguing with you causes rising to the surface.

"this is what i mean! you're just making excuses!" your voice has a desperation to it that strikes him like an arrow through the heart. you turn sharply away from him, focusing your gaze somewhere on the wall.

"then just tell me what you want, for fucks sake!" he pleads, shuffling to stay in front of you and try to coax your eyes back to him. "whatever it is, i'll do it!"

"tell you what i want?" you laugh wryly, looking back to him with an expression he can only describe as offended. "i want you to apologise to me! i want you to say you're fucking sorry, and i don't want to have to wring it out of you!"

your words ring in his ears, bouncing off the walls and back at him like an echo chamber.

"you have never apologised to me! not even once! after all the shit you've put me through, i have never heard the words 'i'm sorry' out of your mouth!" you scowl at him, your eyes glossy with tears threatening to fall as your voice breaks. "thats all i've ever wanted from you!"

simon can't shake off the stunned feeling your words impart upon him; all this time, had he really never apologised? he'd just assumed that you knew he was sorry, without ever having actually said it.

the answer was practically smacking him in the face the entire time, and he still somehow managed to completely miss it. no wonder you were fed up with him – no wonder everyone kept looking at him like he was an idiot.

he's never felt more like a fucking moron than he does in this moment.

he's broken out of his haze by the movement of you sitting back down in your chair, lowering your head into your shaky hands and taking an equally unstable breath.

"you say you don't know what to do– you keep saying you regret what happened, but you never tell me why!" you briefly lift your head to cry out at him, and he just about sees the wetness on your cheeks before it's hidden behind your fingers again.

he takes one large stride to be standing in front of you again. "i was trying to help! havin' any kind of phobia will get you killed in this line of work. i was trying to help you because…" he speaks with a similarly desperate tone, his hands floating uselessly in the space between you. "be–because i care about you."

"well you could've fooled me." you sniffle, lowering your hands slightly, your gaze staying locked to the floor. "why didn't you just say that to begin with? why bother with the tough guy act?"

"it's not that simple…" he mutters, frozen in place, afraid that one wrong move would send you bolting like a cornered animal.

"why?" you cry, tilting your head up to catch his eyes with your own reddened ones, "what are you so afraid of?!"

simons heart beats out of his chest, the rhythm so aggressive he was sure he'd go into cardiac arrest.

"i'm in love with you!" he blurts, the tremor in his hands increasingly obvious as he digs the heels of his palms into his eyes. "...that's what i'm afraid of." his voice is little more than a whisper now, the silence following his declaration only serving to hurt his heart further.

when he peeks back down at you, there's a look of pure shock on your face. your mouth is agape, your eyes flickering between both of his, and simon feels as though you're staring straight into the abyss of his soul. 

"and i am sorry, i'm so fuckin' sorry, for everything– all the shit i gave you when you first started, for never givin' you a chance, for screamin’ at you," he continues, his own voice subtly cracking, "i– i'm so… in love with you, and it fucking terrifies me..."

he wanted to touch you, so badly, and with the sheer amount of raw emotion racing through his veins, he can't find it in himself to resist the urge.

simon sinks to his knees in front of you, his fingers grasping your wrists in a featherlight touch and pulling them away from your face with a gentleness he wasn't sure he possessed.

"i– i could've lost you. you could've died and then i'd have to live without you, and i can't do that…" for the first time in a long time, simon feels the sting of tears in his eyes as he caresses the pulse on your wrists with his thumbs, "i'm sorry…"

"simon…" the way you utter him name sends his heart fluttering like a caged bird in his chest. you'd never called him anything other than ghost or lieutenant before now; he never thought he could enjoy hearing simply his name this much.

"i'm so fuckin' sorry, i'll never treat you like that again, i swear." his voice is weak. he presses his forehead to your fingertips to hide the anguish in his eyes. "i'm sorry, i love you, just… just let me down easy, yeah?"

there's another pause, yours and simon's ragged breaths the only sound disturbing the silence.

"why would i let you down?” you whisper from above him. the words send a jolt of shock through him, the implication halting his breathing for a moment as he processes what you mean.

"don’t say that…" he mutters, squeezing your wrists ever so slightly tighter, not quite ready to let go of you yet.

"i'm in love with you, too."

his head snaps up to meet your eyes. "no, you– " he sputters, bringing one hand up to cover his mouth despite the mask still hiding his terrified expression "you can't… you deserve so much better…"

"i don't care what you think i deserve," you wear a tiny smile as you pull his hand away, your tender hold on his wrist mirroring his own on yours.

"i’m– i’m not good for you." he feels the tears building up again, blurring his vision.

"shouldn’t that be for me to decide?"

simon can hardly believe what's happening, when you bring your other hand up to his cheek, caressing his face through the fabric. he still doesn't let go of your wrist.

"i don't… you– i can't–" his tongue can't seem to form the words as he gazes up into your eyes, the kindness and warmth there overwhelming his senses. "i can't be what you want."

"you already are what i want." you sink to the floor as well, lifting your other hand to cup his face with a blinding smile. "i love you, simon."

for a moment, all he can do is revel in the warmth that bleeds through the fabric of his mask from your hands, pushing his face more into your touch like an affectionate cat.

a desperate noise escapes the back of his throat, his eyes fluttering shut. "...say it again?" he whispers the plea.

he feels your lips on the bridge of his nose, and his eyes snap back open at the sensation. "i love you, simon. more than anything." you murmur, shuffling closer when you kneel between his legs and pressing your forehead to his.

simon thinks he could die happy in this moment. to think, all the pain of the last couple of weeks – the last year, really – had all amounted to this, and can't help but think about what and idiot he'd been up until this point; to have waited this long to feel your touch, it was almost unthinkable.

he sighs, his breathing still evening out. "i'm so sorry…" he whispers. he goes to snake one arm around your waist, but hesitates just before touching you. as of sensing his dilemma, you give him a pleasant hum, wordlessly giving him permission to place his hand firmly on your back. he brings you that much closer with it, the feeling of holding someone a novelty to him.

"i'll forgive you, on two conditions." you reply. simon can sense the smile in your voice even with his eyes closed.

"anything."

"one, we talk to each other from now on, properly." you begin, and simon nods as adequately as he can with your forehead still against his. "second, you have to go on a date with me– to atone."

at that he opens his eyes, pulling back slightly and looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "not sure that counts as a punishment, love." 

you chuckle, meeting his sceptical gaze with a playful glint in your eyes. "it is, because you're cooking."

he chuckles, deep and rumbling in his chest, and drops his forehead gently back to yours, allowing his eyes to flutter closed again.

he'd cook for you for the rest of his life if you asked, if it meant he could stay like this, with you.

taglist p1: @sofasoap , @siilvan , @mockerycrow , @i-love-ghost , @projectdreamwalker , @achelois-is-here , @adamsloverboy , @thatchickwiththecamera , @chickensandwich69 , @batmanunicorns523 , @tiny-kasper , @dezibou , @pampeop , @cumbermovels , @goth-boi-atlas , @berryjuicyy , @guiltgoreglory , @postmodernrevolutionist , @untoldshortsofthefandoms , @delilah-grimes , @sunflowerqueen1416 , @luvssemma , @sunshiinegaz , @imonmykneessir , @kenz-ee , @eistro-phobia , @rzmarona ,

@alanalanalanalanalanna , @cathnoneofyourbusiness , @madsothree , @geisterfvhrer , @lazyninjaphilosopher , @koi-feish , @chaoticgoblindev , @clear-your-mind-and-dream , @thrivig-n-jiving , @lesterous , @glitterypirateduck , @slu77ym4nw415ts , @livelaugh-light , @trulylavendedarling , @stateofcatatonia , @rivalriotrenegade , @yoichiislovie , @nirvanaaaonly , @ameliaamareeee , @sapientiia , @thesecretwriter , @susanmukami , @ryze1113 , @stars-andfreckles , @spya1 , @tunaa-luvchrm , @tzutology (p2 in separated reblog)

[e-dubbc11]

Make Him Pay

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Trauma, mentions of abuse, couple of swear words, some fluff

Word Count: 2.5K-ish

Summary: You are in the process of trying to heal from a past relationship with a man who was verbally abusive and somewhat violent. Billy is doing his best to help you.

A/N: So I know it’s been a minute since I’ve written for Billy. I hope you like it and a shout out to @prompts-and-circumstance I used a couple of your prompts “She flinches when I reach for her face. If I ever find out who did that to her, I won’t hold back.” And “Remember this sunrise. You won’t live to see another.”

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

The wine glass fell in slow motion, like a snow flurry, but crashed to the floor like a turbulent avalanche and scattered across the kitchen floor. Glittering in the dim lights, the chips of glass were peppered everywhere.

Horrified, you were frozen in place and didn’t want to move on account of your bare feet but Billy put you at ease by gently draping his arm across your body and telling you not to move.

“Stay right there, baby. I’ll clean it up…don’t want you getting cut now, do we.” He said with a perfect smile.

Billy retrieved the broom and dustpan and began to sweep up the broken glass. You had hand washed them and while you were drying one, it slipped from your grip and before you knew what was happening, it was in pieces at your feet.

“Billy, I am SO sorry! It slipped…I-I’m s-sorry! I’ll replace it, I swear.” You said, nervously.

With your hands resting at your sides, you felt your hands begin to shake and your heart start to race. It was beating rapidly inside your chest, and felt like it would explode at any moment. Little beads of sweat formed on your brow as you tried to stop yourself from shaking uncontrollably.

“No need, beautiful. I’ve been meaning to buy new ones anyway. You did me a favor.” Said Billy.

Protectively, you immediately put your hand up as a reflex when he reached for your face to try and comfort you. Catching his hand in yours, you closed your other hand over his and tried to smile and distract him.

“I really am sorry, Billy.” You said, as tears stung the back of your eyes.

He knew that look well. The look of someone who’s been hurt, possibly by someone who claimed to love you, by a narcissist who blamed everyone else for their failures except themselves, and takes zero responsibility for their actions.

Oh yeah, he knew that look.

Slowly, he moved his hand toward your face and gently wiped the tear away from your cheek. He deliberately did it very slowly so as to not scare you or cause you to flinch just as you did the same for him. Billy didn’t really like you touching his face either but he was more open to the idea as your relationship progressed.

You knew it wouldn’t happen overnight and you were getting help for the emotional pain you had because of him but your fight or flight responses still happened just not as often.

And Billy was a big reason why it happened less frequently.

No one had ever made you feel safer, more loved, or understood what you have been through more than Billy did. He did not like talking about his past but if it helped you talk about yours, then he was willing to share more than he ever had before.

The only thing you hadn’t told him was your ex’s name. He didn’t need to know, but mostly, you were afraid of what he might do if he knew.

“Sweet girl, I told you, it’s ok. Now I’m gonna lift you and set you on the counter so you don’t get cut.” Billy said with a warm smile.

Before moving his hands down to your waist, Billy looked down at you with his eyes that were the color of wells of ink. You were thinking that if you looked hard enough into his endless brown eyes, they might tell you all of his deepest darkest secrets. But he distracted you by gently pressing his lips to yours, still faintly tasting like red wine and marinara sauce.

Billy finished cleaning the broken glass, went over every inch of the kitchen to make sure he didn’t miss any and even took out the vacuum to really make sure.

He was so sweet. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for you and he did everything he could to prove to you that you deserved love, not ridicule.

**********

The first time Billy had reached for your face to cup your cheeks, you shied away from him and briefly shut your eyes. He thought maybe it was a one-time thing and he just caught you off guard but when it happened again, he just knew someone had hurt you.

The flared nostrils, the way his lips pulled back to expose clenched teeth, and the way his jaw tensed even before you started to speak…you knew he was beyond angry.

Billy listened intently as you told stories of your ex. His knuckles were white as he tightly gripped the glass with his bourbon in it, muscles stiffened as you told him story after story, but he was surprised to hear that your ex had never put his hands on you.

He only threatened to, acted like he was going to, and came close to doing so only to abort at the last minute and punch the wall or kick the door. He threw things though…a lot. He broke glasses, dishes, and anything small enough that he could grip in his hands and throw in your direction.

That was his favorite thing to do.

You didn’t stick around long enough for him to graduate to physical violence but it was long enough to leave you with scarring that wasn’t visible on the outside. Your heart was snow flaked with tiny cuts, each one a little deeper than the last, from every time he lost his temper.

In the softly filtered glow of the fire light, Billy spoke in a wicked hissing whisper and his face darkened with rage.

“Do you swear to me, he never hit you?” Growled Billy.

You swallowed hard before you replied, “I promise you, he never laid a finger on me, Billy. He didn’t have to. His threats and violent behavior scared me enough. And with the violence and the threats, came the empty apologies afterwards.”

Billy replied, “I should make him pay for what he did to you.”

As you placed your hand against his chest, you leaned forward to delicately place a kiss against his lips and said, “He will pay…sooner or later. He will, baby.”

Your words seemed to soothe him a little and calm the anger that coursed through his veins. You felt his body relax under your touch as he slowly snaked his arms around you and pulled you into a tender embrace.

Every little cut on your heart was a reminder that you had every right to get revenge. He should pay for every time he broke the glass in a picture frame, put a hole in the wall with his fist, or kicked the door in if you were taking too long in the bathroom.

Revenge would definitely be freeing but actually carrying it out would be immoral which you knew Billy didn’t care about that. He had done a lot of immoral things and smiled like a Cheshire cat while he did it.

Billy knew it wouldn’t fix everything but it would make him feel better, not powerless which he hated more than anything especially when it came to you.

But he could try and all he needed was a name.

**********

You strived to just feel normal again so that’s why you liked going to get drinks with Frank Castle and his wife, Maria. It was a standing weekly date and you really enjoyed unwinding from the week and their company.

As you sat and chatted with Maria, Billy and Frank went up to the bar to get more drinks where they had a conversation of their own.

“…And how is that going? She still a little, uh, jumpy?” Frank asked.

Billy took a sip of his beer and replied, “She flinches when I reach for her face, Frankie. If I ever find out who did that to her, I won’t hold back.”

“She won’t tell ya, huh?” Said Frank.

Billy said, “She said it’s not important because he’s not in her life anymore and she just wants to concentrate on feeling ‘normal’ again.”

Frank took a sip of his beer.

“But you can’t let it go, can ya Bill.” Frank said.

“Would you be able to?” Asked Billy. “If someone hurt the person you love most, would you?”

Frank pressed his lips together in a straight line, shook his head, picked up Maria’s drink as Billy picked up yours and headed back to the table.

He knew the answer to that, he just didn’t want to say it out loud.

While enjoying another round, you suddenly heard a laugh you hadn’t heard in a long time. It was menacing, almost evil sounding which caused your body to seize and stiffen like a statue and you felt all of the color drain from your face.

You knew who that laugh belonged to.

Thankfully, he was across the bar and with the dim lighting, you didn’t think he could see you but you’d rather not take that chance.

Billy felt you tense up immediately.

“What is it, sweet girl? What’s wrong?” Asked Billy.

You leaned over and replied into his ear, “Can we go, please?”

Billy looked across the bar and somehow knew which one he was. Your ex was a large brick wall of a man, strong, and arrogant.

You pleaded with Billy to leave the bar, to not even make eye contact with him, and try and slip out, unnoticed. There was no explanation needed as both Frank and Maria knew what had happened to you.

Before leaving the bar, Billy whispered something in Frank’s ear. Frank nodded, the two of you escaped the bar undetected, and headed home.

“What did you say to Frank?” You asked.

Billy replied, “I just told him I’d pay him for the drinks after we get home. That’s all, sweet girl.”

Now that Billy has actually seen your ex’s face, you may have a harder time keeping his identity a secret. Maybe he didn’t get a good look at him, the bar lights were in his way, or he didn’t know which one you were looking at. But if you knew anything about Billy, it was he didn’t give up, always remained determined, and always got what he wanted.

And he wanted nothing more than for you to feel safe again.

**********

A Few Weeks Later: Billy’s POV

The frigid winter air stung the exposed skin on your face as the cold infiltrated your entire body. It was going to take some time before you could get warm again.

You hated lying to her, told her last night that you had to work late and so you would just see her later tomorrow morning but it was easier to set up on the rooftop at night while the city was mostly asleep.

During the very early morning hours, the city sounds were elevated, very clear, and unmistakable. Car alarms, police sirens, people stumbling over glass bottles on the sidewalk underneath you…they all sounded like they were right next to you as you waited patiently for any movement in the apartment across the street.

Your mind drifted to y/n, to the paper that Frankie brought you after he found out who he was and his laundry list of crimes he’s committed. His name is Arthur Lennon and by his name alone, you knew why she didn’t want you to know it.

Fired from a couple of jobs because of his anger, Arthur Lennon added court ordered anger management and assault and battery to his resume. He nearly beat a man to death that had accidentally spilled beer on his boots in a bar and then decided to take a couple of swings at the arresting officer before being tased a few times.

But when you found out he had seen her that night while out with you and then followed her home from work a couple of days later, your blind rage could not be contained. Arthur said he missed her and could easily get rid of you so they could be together again. That was when your mind was made up and you were going to kill him.

You had told Frankie, “I won’t be threatened…ever again, Frankie. And I’ll die before I let anyone threaten her either. The world would be a better place without him in it.”

Frank replied, “Leave your phone with me and lemme know if you need anything else.”

Frank was a good friend.

The sun would be coming up soon.

You’ve had Arthur followed for the past two weeks, someone watching his every movement, where he goes and at what times…exact times like what time he gets up in the morning. And how he drinks his coffee in front of the window as the sun starts to rise.

“He won’t even feel it, be dead before he hits the floor. And good fuckin’ riddance.” You thought to yourself.

The sky was just starting to brighten; the fluffy clouds above were lined with a lavender hue as the morning winter sky began to turn pink with the sun breaking the horizon.

Camouflaged, your rifle rested on the ledge of the building directly across from his. The rooftop was comfortable compared to some of the surfaces you were forced to sleep on overseas and you had learned to sleep anywhere whenever you needed to.

This was child’s play.

Covered in black from head to toe, you focused your weapon on the window, and waited for him to appear. It should be soon.

You could feel the sun warming your backside as it started to appear on the opposite side of the building. Laser focused, you needed him to show his face soon before the glare would become too much.

“Don’t worry, sweet girl. He’ll never bother you again.” You whispered.

You wondered if y/n was awake yet; she was very much a morning person, loved to get up early and make coffee for the two of you but she would have to enjoy her coffee alone this morning.

You had a mission to accomplish.

A large figure with tousled hair and sleepy eyes slowly moved into your line of sight, a cup of coffee in his hand, and almost a smug look on his face like he was trying to figure out how he was going to ruin someone’s day today.

Your blood boiled just seeing his face again but this will be the last time you’d have to lay eyes on him. Carefully, Arthur brought his hot coffee up to his lips, and took the last sip of coffee he’ll ever have.

Through gritted teeth, you growled, “Remember this sunrise, Arthur. You won’t live to see another.”

As Arthur swallowed his coffee, you watched his throat move up and down, almost like it was in slow motion, felt the corners of your mouth curl up into a sinister smile, and slowly squeezed the trigger.

Your target was dead and y/n was finally free. No more run-ins and no more looking over her shoulder; maybe she can really start to heal now.

You’ll be home in time to enjoy coffee with her after all.

Tag List: @wheresthesunshinesblog @idaoftheburningmind @rafaelakelley @snowkestrel @music-indie-tv @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @fictional-hooman @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @vaguekayla @danzer8705 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @aoi-targaryen @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @rachlovesactors @qu1etwolf @sweetserendipity65

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[namelessdumbass]

The Nameless Ghouls guide

This one will be almost identical to one i wrote last year. Slightly updated for all the new listeners and those who still struggle with identifying them.

As per usual a warning: there's gonna be a lot of text, silly collages and typos. English isn't my first language...isn't even my first foreign language either 🌚

Another warning: this post will be updated during the tour!

If you want videos/gifs of the Ghouls/Ghoulettes, pls check the links in the older post!

Enjoy!

99% of the names, Ghouls/ Ghoulettes have, were given by fans. The only Papa who called them by their names/alchemic elements was Terzo (aka Papa III).

The first 3 (Opus Eponymous, Infestissumam, Meliora) eras only had 5 Ghouls on stage. Prequelle had 7, Impera and Skeletá - 8.

There are many ways to tell them apart:

-how they are placed on stage -their alchemic symbols (important for Opus, Infest and Meliora eras! check out my Meliora guide where i shed more light on this topic) -their height and body types -their instruments -jewellery -date of the photo/video

Opus Eponymous era (October 23, 2010 - december 15, 2012)

(from left to right: Omega/Quintessence #1, Chain/Water #1, Earth #1, Air #1, Alpha/Fire #1)

There were only 5 Ghouls: Fire/Alpha, Quintessence/Omega, Chain/Water (later Lake), Earth #1 and Air #1. Since 2011, Ghouls were placed in certain areas on stage: Quintessence and Earth on Papa’s right, Water in the middle, Air and Fire - on Papa’s left. All of them wore plain black robes and masks.

Their alchemic symbols are visible on their robes, but it's sometimes hard to see them due to the quality of pictures and videos from this era. The best way to identify them - is to look at their instruments.

Alpha aka Fire Ghoul #1

Lead guitar. Had fire symbol sticker on his white-n-black Gibson RD. Skilled motherfucker. Taller than Papas, looked bigger in first 2 eras. Was a bit reserved in era 1, but became quite active and naughty in era 2. Has blue eyes, started to wear a ring in era 2 and got tattoos in era 3. If you see a ghoul who often shows a ✌ sign - that’s Alpha :) Secondo's favorite ghoul. Hangs out with Omega, River, Delta, Pebble and Mist on stage. Enjoys attention, quite popular among fans. Can speak Italian, has strong accent.

Joined in october 2010, left in november 2016

Omega aka Ether/Quintessence Ghoul #1

Rhythm guitar, black Gibson RD with Omega sticker. Tall, stompy, was quite confident from the very beginning, graceful hand movements (trust me, you won’t confuse him with any other ghoul). Has cutest laugh. The Perfect Ghoul™. Has beautiful eyes, chunky silver rings (he wore them in every era), is the reason the Ghouls got their alchemic symbols. Papa III’s favorite Ghoul, that’s why he was always praised and his butt was always touched/smacked during Year Zero solo by Terzo :) Did interviews in era 2 (sometimes together with Alpha or Special Ghoul) and 3.

Joined in october 2010, left in july 2016 :(

Chain aka Water Ghoul#1

Bass, black IBANEZ. Mysterious and metal AF, wore a chain as a belt and painted black bones on his hands, had Grucifix on metal necklace (which was later worn by Omega after Chain left). Was quite active and actually the shortest ghoul of era 1.

Joined in october 2010 (first appeared on stage on 23th october), left in early 2011

Earth Ghoul #1

Drums. Had no other specific name. Tall (same height as Omega), slim, has blue eyes. Despite being in Ghost for like 4 years, is soooo underrated. There’s not much we know about him. The only earth ghoul of Ghost who did an interview (together with Alpha). Was a badass

Joined in october 2010, left in 2014

Air Ghoul #1

Also had no specific name, though some fans prefer to call him Aero/Aeon. Synthesizer, keyboard and keytar. The tallest ghoul (a bit taller than Omega), dark eyes. Modest, very calm, didn’t move much. Loved showing horns and stared at fans sometimes. Had badass Mummy Dust solo 👇

Joined in 2011, left in november 2016

Lake aka Water Ghoul #2

Bass. Played white-n-black Squier by FENDER and Rickenbacker 4003 (in Opus Era). Joined in 2011 after Chain left. Middle height, dark eyes. Quite calm. Played two different guitars in era 1. Had cool black lenses in era 2, wore a ring sometimes. Also quite underrated. Fun fact: Remember Year Zero mv when Secondo flashes us? Well, it was this Water in Papa’s chasuble, not Tobias :)

Joined in 2011, left in 2014.

Infestissumam era (december 15th 2012 - June 3, 2015)

How are Ghouls placed on stage? Same way as in Opus era. Same Ghouls, different outfits and masks. Their alchemic symbols became more visible and ghouls opened up more on stage. There was only one change of the lineup: Lake left in 2014 and was replaced by River.

River aka Water #3

Bass. Played Lake's black-n-white and sometimes plain Squier by FENDER. Middle height, dark blue eyes. Was quite chaotic and weird on stage. Held his bass in a suggestive way, humped it sometimes. Interacted with Alpha a lot, was a bad influence. Definitely had fun on stage, enjoyed attention. See a ghoul with wide-legs-stance? Yeah, that’s him! The tallest of the Water Ghouls.

Joined in 2014, left in 2015 (before Meliora era began).

Meliora era (june 3, 2015 - september 30, 2017)

Placed on stage? Same way as in previous two eras. This is when a lot of changes happened. In 2015, Fire, Quintessence and Air Ghouls were the same, but Earth#1 and River left and Delta and Pebble were introduced. This era confuses a lot of people that's why you should always take a look at the top of their uniforms. Ghoul's respective element is always highlighted!

Delta aka Water#4

Bass. Played white-n-black Fender and black Gibson. A bit shorter than Papa III, cute, has blue eyes. No visible tattoos or rings. Skilled, filled in for Apha and Omega (and also played his guitar!) couple times for a few rituals and acoustic shows. Loved interacting with Alpha and Pebble on stage.Became Quintessence Ghoul in july 2016 when Omega left, played rhythm guitar.

Joined in June 2015, left in november 2016

Pebble aka Earth#2

Drums. Despite being the shortest and smolest in the band, played the shit out of drums. Was the most active Earth ghoul of Ghost. A show off. Loved interacting with fans. Played a brief solo before Stand by Him. Had a ring, his mask looked a little bit too big for him. Slim, light green eyes. Loved interacting with Alpha and Water.

Joined in June 2015, left in november 2016

In july 2016 Omega left Ghost, Delta took his place and Mist, the first Ghoulette of Ghost, played bass.

Mist Ghoulette aka Water #5

Bass. The same, as by previous Water Ghouls. The first Ghoulette of Ghost! Tiny, has blue eyes, a tattoo and ring on her finger. Cute as hell. Was quite calm and modest. Loved by fans. Her mask looked too big for her. Same could be said about the guitar. Since people still confuse her with Dew (due to small height i guess), the quickest way to identify her is to look at her finger nails. They were always painted :)

Joined in september 2016, left a the end of Popestar tour in november 2016.

In 2017 all of the former ghouls and Mist left and the new pack of Ghouls was introduced. All of them (except for Mountain) were +- same heigh as Terzo, so identifying them isn’t hard.

Ifrit aka Fire Ghoul #2

Lead guitar. White Fantomen.  Hyperactive, full of energy, jumps, spins and moves a lot on stage. Papa III’s hype man. Loved interacting with fans, gestures a lot. The ghoul that can’t stand still. Has blue eyes, no visible tattoos or rings. Ray of sunshine (no really, he’s very sweet). Quite popular among fans. Loved interacting with Zephyr, Aether and Dewdrop.

Joined in march 2017, left in september 2017

Aether aka Quintessence #3 aka Banana ghoul

Rhythm guitar. Black Fantomen. A bit taller than Ifrit and Papa III. Loves bananas. Has dark eyes, bracelets and a ring. No QE sticker on his guitar. Beefy, friendly. Also spins, dances and jumps a lot on stage. Was present in Terzo, Cardinal and Papa IV eras. Interacted with all of the Ghouls on stage. Was Cardinal’s favorite Ghoul. Was bullied by Sodo, but also annoyed him too sometimes. He and Sodo had pre Cirice guitar battles. Did backing vocals in Prequelle and Impera (in 2022) era.

Joined in march 2017, left in may 2023.

Dewdrop aka Water #6 aka Fire #3

Bass, used by previous Water Ghouls (only during Meliora/Popestar era!) and lead guitar. White Fantomen during Prequelle era and white Fender Stratocaster since Impera era. A bit shorter than Papas and the rest of the ghouls. Slim. Popular among fans. Stompy, was naughty in era 3, but became muuuuuuch worse later. Horny i would say and even more aggressive. Ghoul equivalent of chihuahua. Shows middle finger, throws picks when he’s angry or annoyed by Aether. Was a Water ghoul in 2017, became a Fire Ghoul #3 in 2018 after Ifrit left. Licked his guitar, picks, tried to lick Rain, Aether and bullied Cardinal sometimes. HORNY during Mummy Dust. Vapes on stage, interacts with fans, loves choking Rain. Once hurt his finger, didn’t give a damn and continued playing guitar smearing blood all over it. Can also be a gentleman, is nice to Ghoulettes. Managed to break his leg on stage during Skeletour🙃

Joined in march 2017 and is still in Ghost (as of april 2025).

Zephyr aka chAir Ghoul #2

Keyboard, synthesizer, keytar. Same height as Papa III, blue eyes. Quite active on stage, but can also be calm. Sits on chair a lot, but starts moving when he’s feeling it. Interacts with Ifrit and Aether. Cute as hell Keytar solo - 👇

Joined in march 2017, left in september 2017.

Ivy aka Earth #3

Drums. Dark eyes, wears bracelets. Same heigh as Ifrit. Even though he had been in the band only few monhs, he did an amazing job.

Joined in march 2017, left in june 2017.

Mountain aka Earth #4

Drums. Tall, slim, has grey eyes and a tattoo on his finger. Hates shoes. Quite popular among fans. Pretty calm, especially comparing to Pebble. Nice fella. Was present in Papa III, Cardinal and Papa IV era. Is now Perpetua's ghoul.

Joined in june 2017 and is still in Ghost (as of april 2025)

Prequelle era (april 6, 2018 - march 3, 2020)

The number of ghouls on stage has increased. Instead of 5 there were 7 ghouls. And this is the year when we got not one, but two Ghoulettes! How are they placed on stage? Like this:

New ghouls of this era:

Rain aka Water #7

Bass (same as by previous Ghouls) and black Fender Jazz bass. A bit taller than Dewdrop and Cardinal/Papa VI. Has dark eyes, beautiful hands, slim. Wears a ring. Quite calm comparing to the others. Opened up a bit more in Impera era. The only adult on stage, beside Ghoulettes and Mountain. Has to step in when Dew becomes a pain in the ass, also allows him to choke him during Year Zero. Wears a habit just like Swiss and the Ghoulettes during Skeletour. Also became naughty

Joined in january 2018 and is still in Ghost (as of april 2025)

Swiss aka Multi Ghoul

Baritone (black Hangstrom) and acoustic guitar, tambourine, backing vocals. Plays cowbell during Umbra. Tall, slim, has dark eyes and biiiiiiiiiiiiig smile. Dances on his platform, tries to seduce other ghouls, acts possessed. Is in your walls. A manace to society. Vapes on stage. Loves interacting with fans and other ghouls. Known for his powerful shimmies. The horniest Ghoul of Ghost. Annoying the shit out of Sodo aka "jerking him off" was his main hobby in 2023. Also went to Aurora’s (see below) and Cumulus’ platforms. The most chaotic ghoul. In Skeletá era he also wears the same headpiece as the Ghoulettes! Kissed Papa Perpetua at his last ritual. Was quite calm during Skeletour

Joined in january 2018, left on april 22th 2025.

Cumulus aka Multi Ghoulette

Backing vocals, synthesizer, tamboutine. Short, curvy, has amazing voice. No visible tattoos. Loves interacting with fans and other Ghouls/Ghoulettes. Dances and slays. Cirrus' bestie

Joined in january 2018, left in 2024/beginning of 2025

Cirrus aka Multi/Air Ghoulette

Keyboard, synthesizer, tambourine, keytar, backing vocals. Tall, slim. No tattoos. Active on stage. Loves sticking out her tongue during Mummy Dust solo. Comes to the center of the stage since Impera era. Literal queen. Keytar solo 👇

Joined in january 2018 and is still in Ghost (as of april 2025)

Impera era (january 25 th, 2022 - october 7th, 2023)

There were also a few changes in this era: new Ghouls and slight changes in the stage setting [see my older guide as tumblr only allows 30 pictures per post!]. In 2022 one more Ghoulette joined the Prequlle pack.

Sunshine aka Multi Ghoulette

Backing vocals and tambourine. A bit taller than Cumulus, but shorter than Cirrus. No tattoos and rings/bracelets. Cutie. Dances and acts funny on her platform. Stood on Papa’s left.

Joined in 2022, left in may 2023.

In 2023 Sunshine and Aether left and were replaced by Aurora and Phantom. The rest of the Ghouls/Ghoulettes remained the same.

Phantom aka Quintessence #4

Rhythm guitar. Black Fantomen and black Fender Jaguar (in Lachryma mv). Tall, slim, dark eyes. Loves interacting with fans and loves bats. A show off and a little bit chaotic. Quite confident despite being a newbie. Joins Rain and Sodo for epic into of Square Hammer and outro of Rats. Loves annoying Papa IV during Year Zero outro. Loves going to Aurora's platform and dancing with her. almost No visible tattoos, has black tapes on his fingers. Interacts with every ghoul/ghoulettes on stage. Entertains the crowd and also plays acoustic guitar in Skeletá era. Annoys the shit out of Perpetua

Joined in may 2023 and is still in Ghost (as of april 2025)

Aurora aka Multi Ghoulette

Backing vocals, tambourine. Also plays keyboard instead of Cumulus during Skeletour. Full of energy. The shortest Ghoulette. Loves interacting with Swiss, Rain, Phantom, Haze, Cumulus and Dew.

Joined in may 2023, is still in Ghost (as of april 2025)

Skeletá era (March 5th, 2025):

There also has been a change: Cumulus has left Ghost and her place is now taken by Haze ghoulette.

Ghouls/Ghoulettes are placed on stage the same way they were in Impera era. They wear black skin tight sparkly costumes with bones. Their masks are silver with the grucifix of this era matching Papa Perpetua. The also wear kinky collars with bows

Every Ghoul's/Ghoulette's mask has different details: Dew has a mustache, Phantom a mole, Rain has his nose, Mountain has longer mask/smile lines, Aurora has rounder face, Cirrus has a tear streak under her right eye, Haze - black upper lip.

Source Dew, Phantom, Mountain wear hats and Rain, Swiss, Cirrus, Aurora, Haze - habits.

Haze aka Tempest aka Nimbus aka Multi Ghoulette

Backing vocals + tambourine. She's taller than Aurora and slim. Stands platform next to Aurora, behind Dew (on Papas left). Calm, loves showing her bat wings, dances, blows kisses to Ghesties. Hangs out with Aurora, Dew and Phantom. Plays cowbell during Umbra since Swiss left.

Joined in February/March 2025

Honorable mentions:

Special Ghoul aka Phil aka Tobias

Showed up for interviews and to grab some awards. Talked about albums, meanings of songs, ghildo and Papas. Worships cats, loves Abba. Slim, has green eyes. Wore Alpha’s uniform. Was present in Primo, Secondo and Terzo eras. Makes a lot of silly sounds.

Hasn’t been active since 2017

Cowbell Ghoul

Plays cowbell in “Ritual” and “If you have Ghosts”. A freaking legend. Tall, has a posture of a shrimp. Always got shooed by Papa III. Only showed up at the end of Popestar tour in 2016. Brought many people joy with his presence.

And that was it….I hope this guide was useful.

Thanks for reading 🖤💜

[cherryblossompink303]

Can't pretend chapter one: Ex Machina

➼ pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader ➼ summary: The team is brought in to help on a case that you and spencer have been working on undercover for the past six months. ➼ what to expect:  "Only if you admit that you're enjoying this too" ➼ warnings: CM typical violence- minimal detail ➼ Prologue | Part two

The only light emitting from the history department was the old warm lighting from the hallways, almost all the classrooms packed up for the day bar one.

Sitting within the warm lighting of the old lamps in the school buildings, the smell of chalk and dust in the air, was a famed professor completing his fifth crossword of the evening.

The distant footsteps out in the hallway did not even register in his mind, too busy thinking of a thirteen letter term of a sudden godly resolution. But he should have, for someone so smart he made it far too easy.

No, for someone who would presumably be so susceptive it should not have taken him until I was in the room for him to realise. But that's just how these types are, secure. Too secure.

A mind with an 179 IQ slashed to zero just like my knife into his chest, almost a waste, almost.

---------------------------------------------

Ex Machina

---------------------------------------------

"So I'll get straight to the point we have a big case" Emily drops the case file on the table of the meeting room of the briefing room of the BAU. "As we all know our very own Dr Reid has been on a high profile undercover case for the past few months, he should still be there however this morning a message came in through his one line of communication this morning, he and his partner are at risk of being compromised and he needs our help from our end to catch the unsub or unsubs"

"Unsubs? They think it could be a team?" JJ raises an eyebrow, flicking through the case file

"The murders that they are investigating has possible ties to organised crime so it is possible that there are multiple unsubs" Garcia nods, turning to the screen as he taps away at her tablet "Reid and his partner will brief us over call from their safe houses imminently as soon as he figures out the technology, so bear with as we all know how our beloved doctor is very much analogue and not digital, ah!"

With a slight glitch crime scene photos are quickly replaced by a split screen of their very own Spencer Reid, and a woman they do not recognise, you. "Oh my god it's really you! Hi!" Garcia fawns over the appearance of spencer. It has been months since you and spencer had been assigned to new haven, and as protocol is for most deep cover cases, you had both gone completely cut off from your previous lives prior to the case for that reason. Spencer mutters a happy but also somewhat shy hello at the greetings of the BAU.

"And you must be Dr y/n l/n" Prentiss nods to the other side of the screen where you are sat, slightly left out of the loop of what is going on. "Yes I am, it's nice to put names to faces Spencer speaks quite highly of you all"

"I would say likewise but that would have been breaking protocol if he did"

"While I love all this reunion banter i'm afraid we do not have much time"

The two of you nod over the call "Right"

"For the past six months Dr Reid and I have been undercover investigating a series of murders surrounding Harvard university"

"Whoever this unsub is seems to be targeting academics and leaving puzzles and codes at the crime scenes, some of the ones which we have deciphered point towards a cartel that has been operating in the area"

"The only problem is, the unsub is onto us, a note was left at the most recent murder that we believe was addressed to us"

"'To my two old friends, I see you have made your opening move, but be warned, I live to find a mate, I await your response' well that is interesting, somewhat resembles the letters Jack the ripper would leave" JJ's brows furrow as she reads the scanned version of the note from her tablet.

"Yes but those letters were taunting the police the language in this letter is very different, welcoming to Reid and L/n"

"There's also a line that sticks out to me 'i live to find a mate' while it is obviously is referring to a checkmate in chess it implies a sexual aspect in the murders that was not evident prior to this murder" You ramble slightly

"What's the victimology?"

"So far it is varied, no preference of gender or seemingly age or class the only through line it seems that all the victims have an IQ at a minimum of 150" You nod in confirmation of Reid's explanation "Although we have noticed more overkill in the men"

A buzz of your burner phone draws your attention away from the call "Sorry I'm gonna have to cut this short my source in the cartel has just messaged to meet I'm gonna have to go"

"Of course, the last thing you should do right now is disrupt routine and risk compromising your cover"

"It was nice to meet you all" You blip out of the call.

"Oh my god" JJ mutters in entertainment now that you are missing from the call "What is it?" Spencer raises an eyebrow. "Are you kidding? Have you noticed that Dr l/n sounds just like you?" Emily speaks up.

"Really? You think?"

"Yeah you have the same almost the exact same inflections in your voice when you explain things, you two are so similar"

"Trust me, me and Dr l/n are nothing alike"

"How are you?"

"I'm okay, still getting used to it all I think"

Emily sits up "Reid you said that the unsub is onto you and Dr l/n, do you two need to be pulled out?"

"We don't have any reason to believe that the unsub knows our identities so I think it is a little early to right now, the unsub just knows there's two people after him"

"Okay just...be careful"

"I will,

---------------------------------------------

6 months ago...

For someone who has spent over a decade in the FBI he did not know what to expect from the house that the FBI placed him with, he was expecting a barebones house, absolute basics, when in actuality there was an profound amount of depth of character in the house it was almost unsettling, stepping into a house for the first time that he has already supposedly lived in.

"You must be Reid" you were already waiting for him in the kitchen as he arrived, helped yourself to a cup of coffee, not being able to resist the urge to immediately profile you, you were confident, clearly more experienced in these kinds of things than he was. "Yes, Dr Spencer Reid, nice to meet you...."

However it was telling how much was false for the assignment and how much was real that would take longer. He was not told much about who would also be on the case with him but from the sounds of it he expected someone more like him, a stereotypical bookworm he supposed or even someone like Penelope. But the woman standing in front of him was far from it.

"Dr y/n l/n"

"You're a doctor also?" Spencer has a habit to avoid his eyes wandering, a symptom of his fast moving train of thought, taking in how you were dressed, pencil skirt, leather jacket, those were th only things seemingly computing.

"Don't sound so surprised, you know why we were both selected for this case, I'm right in saying this is your first time with an assignment like this right? Coffee?"

"Please, and yes, I've done the odd undercover here and there but nothing this...involved, also the last time I did it didn't go down very well..." he instinctively shook his head at the reminder of Kat.

You nodded with pursed lips, pouring him a cup of coffee "Well, in a way this is easier, like method acting a suppose, how many degrees?"

"Hm?"

Your head tilted to the side with a smirk "Come on, you heard me, don't act like you didn't wanna ask the same thing"

"Six, you?"

"Five, how many of them PHD's?"

"Three" "Ditto, you've been assigned to investigate in harvard right?"

Spencer did not know at what point this had descended into an interview on his part but there he was, finding himself answering your questions with little hesitation "Yes."

"Okay, great... now this is going sound a bit blunt so forgive me but you need to forget everything you just told me"

"What?"

"The key to deep cover is not drawing attention to yourself, becoming so bland that no one thinks twice about you, effectively becoming invisible" You hand over a file containing details and documents of his cover story "not to mention we are chasing a killer who is targeting academics, so, from now on, you are Mr. Arthur Simmons, with one degree, a Masters in physics with an iq of 130"

"Got it" Spencer nodded, giving a thumbs up as he flicked through the file.

"Beyond that I'm sure you'll be fine if you've done some light undercover work before, I'm sure you know basic protocol like no contact with friends and family, stuff like that."

"I must admit...you aren't what I expected"

"Yeah...I get that a lot...but it's also my job so I guess it can't hurt"

---------------------------------------------

"Amelia, you're late"

"I told you to call me Amy, you sound like my parents" You shrug off your jacket, dropping it behind the bar "you know Simon doesn't like it when people are late"

"I know, sorry, it just took me a while to get away from my husband" You had always found it strange that the FBI had placed you both in a house together, this was the first time you had ever been on assignment where your cover is married to another agent, the words 'husband' and 'married' still feel foreign in your mouth six months later.

"Ew"

"Not like that you pervert, you know that he doesn't know I do all this" Tom laughs, leaning back against the bar "If you say so, I'd just stay out of Simon's way today he's on one"

"Am I now?" You near jump out your skin at the sudden voice behind you, turning around to realise that Simon is indeed stood behind you "You're late"

"I am, couldn't get away without questions being asked" the man in question hums "I suppose that can be understandable, I am a reasonable man after all, however you and I have a different problem"

"oh?"

"You see, I've noticed you haven't quite been pulling your weight around here"

"Simon I told you I'm happy to make connections for you but I ain't hurtin people it's not my style"

"That's fine yet you haven't been making any connections in a while now have you?"

"we get a lot of collage students and there's a murderer at the college at the moment, people don't wanna take risks at the moment" you jump behind the bar, cleaning glasses.

"I suppose so, but the point still stands Amelia, we need more people, so you better get creative" sighing you put on a disingenuous smile "Sure"

"good" Simon walks off "I told you" Tom whispers loudly next to you "whatever"

---------------------------------------------

"Hey" You sigh out a greeting as you re-enter the house for the night. Spencer had been back a while, having left the building at 5pm, sat in the kitchen with the blinds drawn as he reviews the case files "how was 'work'?"

"You know you don't have to put in quotations, it is my job to be there"

"You know what I meant" he mutters, brows furrowed as he studied these codes that had been stumping the two of you for weeks "Spencer you're going to give yourself a headache if you keep doing that...have you got the phone"

"Yeah" He throws it over to you "It's just something about the script that is bothering me"

"I was thinking about that" you bite your tongue, tapping the contact for the secure hotline "What if the cipher was created by the unsub?"

Spencer's head snaps up at the question "What?" you shrug, suddenly feeling exposed "The symbols aren't from any known ciphers that are in the FBI database nor either of our knowledges, you said that your friend Garcia did a scan for similar codes?"

"Yeah, she came up empty"

"So the cipher is personal and unique to the unsub"

"But why? The profile we have built so far suggests that the unsub is an intellectual narcissist who feels overlook and needs to show the world how smart he is, surely the messages left at the disposal sites are for the world, the public or law enforcement, why use made up cipher with a script and symbols personal to him?"

You shrug, leaning forward against the kitchen island "To taunt us? To show that he is smarter than all of us by creating a cipher he knows we can't break"

Spencer mulled it over, biting the inside of his cheek "Possibly"

"Either way...perhaps we should start approaching it as a self made cipher even if it isn't, may get us a bit farther"

You lean over his shoulder to take a glance of the file "That's easier said than done" you hum in agreement "We need a board somewhere to lay it all out, start with the most common symbols, The most recurring is most likely the letter e, e is-"

"-the most commonly used letter in the English language" spencer finishing your sentence causes you to pause, this happens a lot, the two of you are so used to having to explain things to the people around you that you both have gotten used to doing it unnecessarily. "yeah."

You step back, realising that you are leaning a little too close for a colleague, choosing to sit up on the counter behind you, studying Spencer's facial features. His brows furrowed as he stares down at the messages left at the disposal sites, cheeks hollowed out as his lips purse, something however tugging at the corner of them.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?" you had to admit it was an entertaining watch, although you realise that you probably should not have been looking for as long as you did "What? n-no- of course not I'm just- these messages have been bothering me-"

Your laughing cuts him off "Whoa, calm down, I can't exactly be one to judge, but just admit it, the puzzles, the codes, deep down you enjoy solving them"

He leans back, straightening out as looks back at you "I thought I was the profiler here" You smirk, shrugging "I'm a fast learner" you push yourself back up to stand close to him, not backing down as your chin tilts upwards to look him dead in the eyes "Just admit it, I've seen you solved three crosswords in the morning in the time it takes you to finish a cup of coffee you are itching for a mental challenge and you don't want to admit that you're enjoying this because seven people are dead"

"Only if you admit that you're enjoying this too" his voice drops slightly, somehow a softer and rougher feel to it at the same time, not backing down either.

"Touché" Something about it incited a strange feeling in your ribcage, it wasn't a fluttering-no- you know it is not that, but it wasn't exactly a displeasant feeling either.

The ringtone of the phone causes the two of you to jump apart slightly, clearing your throat as you pick it up "Hello?"

"Hi! Your wonder woman in the chair here with some... disturbing news"

"Go on Garcia"

"So I was attempting to put together a timeline of the murders that have so far been tied to the unsub and as JJ so correctly pointed out is that the earliest murder in the timeline is far too sophisticated for this to be the unsub's first killing"

"Yeah we thought so as well but with no earlier match in M.O. we figured that the unsub is mostly has a background as hitman or possibly military"

"And that is a valid assumption, but, to double check because it wouldn't be the first time I ran the parameters through interpol's database thanks to Emily and I got a hit in London, England"

"What there were similar murders?"

"Not quite, robberies, museums, banks, very James Bond. Nearly didn't catch it but it certainly has the same cipher that this unsub is using"

"Garcia do you mind sending the details of that case over to us?"

"Oh Dr l/n you are yet to learn my brilliance, it's already in your inbox, Garcia out" the two of you exchange glances of shock and confusion as the phone hangs up. "Well, that certainly changes the profile..."

"Indeed" Spencer sighs, leaning back against the counter, you raise an eyebrow "I'll start on the cipher you start on the robberies?"

"Sounds like we've got work to do"

Next time on can't pretend: 'Borderline'

Taglist (reply/reblog to be added): @superbeaglewitch

[fabaulti]

I think most of us should take the whole ai scraping situation as a sign that we should maybe stop giving google/facebook/big corps all our data and look into alternatives that actually value your privacy.

i know this is easier said than done because everybody under the sun seems to use these services, but I promise you it’s not impossible. In fact, I made a list of a few alternatives to popular apps and services, alternatives that are privacy first, open source and don’t sell your data.

right off the bat I suggest you stop using gmail. it’s trash and not secure at all. google can read your emails. in fact, google has acces to all the data on your account and while what they do with it is already shady, I don’t even want to know what the whole ai situation is going to bring. a good alternative to a few google services is skiff. they provide a secure, e3ee mail service along with a workspace that can easily import google documents, a calendar and 10 gb free storage. i’ve been using it for a while and it’s great.

a good alternative to google drive is either koofr or filen. I use filen because everything you upload on there is end to end encrypted with zero knowledge. they offer 10 gb of free storage and really affordable lifetime plans.

google docs? i don’t know her. instead, try cryptpad. I don’t have the spoons to list all the great features of this service, you just have to believe me. nothing you write there will be used to train ai and you can share it just as easily. if skiff is too limited for you and you also need stuff like sheets or forms, cryptpad is here for you. the only downside i could think of is that they don’t have a mobile app, but the site works great in a browser too.

since there is no real alternative to youtube I recommend watching your little slime videos through a streaming frontend like freetube or new pipe. besides the fact that they remove ads, they also stop google from tracking what you watch. there is a bit of functionality loss with these services, but if you just want to watch videos privately they’re great.

if you’re looking for an alternative to google photos that is secure and end to end encrypted you might want to look into stingle, although in my experience filen’s photos tab works pretty well too.

oh, also, for the love of god, stop using whatsapp, facebook messenger or instagram for messaging. just stop. signal and telegram are literally here and they’re free. spread the word, educate your friends, ask them if they really want anyone to snoop around their private conversations.

regarding browser, you know the drill. throw google chrome/edge in the trash (they really basically spyware disguised as browsers) and download either librewolf or brave. mozilla can be a great secure option too, with a bit of tinkering.

if you wanna get a vpn (and I recommend you do) be wary that some of them are scammy. do your research, read their terms and conditions, familiarise yourself with their model. if you don’t wanna do that and are willing to trust my word, go with mullvad. they don’t keep any logs. it’s 5 euros a month with no different pricing plans or other bullshit.

lastly, whatever alternative you decide on, what matters most is that you don’t keep all your data in one place. don’t trust a service to take care of your emails, documents, photos and messages. store all these things in different, trustworthy (preferably open source) places. there is absolutely no reason google has to know everything about you.

do your own research as well, don’t just trust the first vpn service your favourite youtube gets sponsored by. don’t trust random tech blogs to tell you what the best cloud storage service is — they get good money for advertising one or the other. compare shit on your own or ask a tech savvy friend to help you. you’ve got this.

[alek-softy]

OKAY OKAY OKAY soooo

Timeline of everything that happened today at fanexpo Cleveland from my pov!!!

🌠 A diary entry post!!! 🐌

SO FIRST before the convention

This was the fit for the dayyy with the rushed Campbell Bain hoodie, dt pins, and my little golden retriever mask (to match the hoodie because Campbell is THE SUNSHINEY GOLDEN RETRIEVER BOY CHARACTER ever)

when we got to the convention we got some tickets for an autograph and photo op and they gave us times to come back and use the tickets so in the meanwhileeeee

We did some shopping!!! We got souvenirs for people back home mostly but

I got this cute tardis charm for myself!!!

Anyways eventually we got back when it was time for the photo op and I was expecting there to be some sort of line but we got to go in immediately and I was NOT PREPARED

I froze up really bad and turned super red. Zero thoughts. Just David Tennant. He had to awkwardly scoot me into frame while I just sort of stared at him and smiled like a creep.

I'll treasure this photo for the rest of my life

I'm pretty sure he was texting someone when I walked in and I thought that was kind of funny because ya know he's DAVID TENNANT so seeing him doing something so mundane was a weird new perspective??? Peak humor imo

I think it might be relevant to mention that he sounds more Scottish in person for some reason. I have no idea what that is

Also his hair is actually lighter now?? From the sides only though. From the front it just looks it's normal shade of brown.

Next UPPPP was the autograph!!!

And the line was SO INCREDIBLY LONG

For a while when I was in line that stupid awkward thing happened where your eyes just naturally go in the direction of someone else's because of where you're standing and you end up staring each other down for a few seconds at a time

BUT WITH DAVID TENNANT???

that was really weird

Anyways I got him to sign my sketchbook so that it could be blessed by The David Tennant and only allow me to make the most amazing art this side of the Mississippi

Orrr the other side of the Mississippi because I traveled across the country for this (⁠・⁠_⁠・⁠; )

LAST BUT DEFINITELY NOT LEASTTT!!

THE DAVID TENNANT CONVERSATION INTERVIEW PANEL THING!!!

I recorded almost the whole thing and posted it to YouTube here!!!

It's definitely not the best recording (due to my intense excitement) but it's something?? I don't know if there's an official recording out there yet but there were definitely cameras going around I should rlly check

Overall though !!!!!903/10!!!!!!

In the end I would end up seeing two other people wearing Campbell hoodies and SO MANY Doctor cosplays!!! mostly Ten but there was also a lot of Thirteen and Four sprinkled in there

IT WAS SOO worth it to meet my role model and the actor of all of my favoritist guys!! All the other fans were so nice and I was sort of kind of panicking the whole time BUT IT WAS SO MUCH FUN

That's all 4 now!!

(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤